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Oh, dear God.
He clasped his hands together in his lap. "It was an illegal gold mine, and even though I didn't speak much Spanish at the time, I did what I had to do to survive, and thank God I had the skills, valuable skills, to operate heavy machinery at the different sites we were dragged to and forced to work at."
He went on to talk about how he was with people who'd been trafficked as well as many poorer locals who had no other opportunities to make money to feed their families.
What he didn't say was how he was treated or mistreated, rather. But I could see it in his haunted eyes, see it in his weathered hands, the frailness of his body. Before, he'd always been so sturdy, a little on the pudgy side in more recent years, a product of his mama's cooking he liked to joke.
And now, he was a shell of his former self.
Watching him talk, his voice raspier than I remembered, I was racked with guilt. Sure, he was alive. But at what cost?
"Finally, I was able to get out when we were raided by Black Hawks and police who blew up the machinery. I cornered the commander and told him my story."
Fortunately, the commander had believed him and they'd eventually taken him to the American embassy in Bogotá where he'd convinced them of his identity. Unable to get ahold of my mom, they'd contacted my grandparents just yesterday, and they'd kept it a secret from the rest of us, praying that it would all work out.
And it had worked out. Miraculously. A true miracle.
The excitement I felt was tempered by the thought of everything he'd been through, my heart breaking at his tale. The even more awful part was I could tell he'd definitely been hiding the worst of it from me. He'd been sugar-coating his story, glossing over it. And I knew the man had seen hell.
How could he not?
His story was unbelievable, and I had trouble processing it all as we sat there in stunned silence.
"Where's Mom?" I asked. "And Ryan?" I knew my mom was in Massachusetts for work, but of course she'd drop everything for this miracle.
"Your mom is catching the red-eye tonight, and Ryan can't get on a plane until tomorrow," my grandma said.
I couldn't imagine having our whole family reunited, a day I hadn't dared to even dream about for fear it would never happen.
"Anyone hungry?" my grandpa asked suddenly.
"What do you think?" my dad joked, making all of us laugh.
My grandparents stood up to go to the kitchen. "You stay and talk," my grandma ordered.
Josh excused himself, following them around the corner, and I was alone with my dad, the emotions bubbling up inside me, the extreme guilt I felt overwhelming me, destroying me.
Who knew I'd still feel this awful after discovering he was alive? I thought if by some miracle I ever saw him again, that feeling would automatically disappear. But it hadn't. It was actually worse now, seeing him, seeing how he'd aged, hearing what he'd been through.
My whole heart hurt as he smiled at me. "And how have you been, polpetta, through all of this?"
As a kid, I hated that nickname. I mean, what girl wanted to be called meatball? But now, just hearing that term from him made the tears come instantly, spilling down my cheeks. My dad crossed over to me, hugging me to him.
"Shhh, don't cry. I'm here. We're both here together again."
And that only made me sob harder. My grandma rushed in with a tissue box, setting it down beside me before going back to the kitchen. The sight made us laugh. Here we both were, laughing and crying once more.
After I wiped my tears, I turned to look at my dad, and he scooched back farther on the couch, blowing his nose, making that loud honking noise that I remembered ricocheting through the house growing up. I couldn't help giggling, and my dad laughed with me.
"Some things never change, right? Still got this big beak," he joked, a twinkle in his eye.
Shaking my head, I sniffled myself, trying in vain to control all my insane emotions. "I can't even believe you're really here."
"I know. I know. Your grandparents told me how you all thought I was dead."
Nodding feebly, I wondered what to tell him, this man that was both familiar and a stranger. "I—I never thought that, though. I always believed you were still alive."
"You did?" he asked, the surprise evident on his face.
