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“Maybe, but there’s something about you I can’t pull away from.” There was a pause before he added, “We don’t have to do anything. If you want, we could just sit here, or you could tell me what’s really on your mind. Why are you really here, princess?”
I looked at him. Why in the world did he keep calling me that? Was that what he called every other girl here? Hmm. I wasn’t naive enough to think I’d caught this man’s attention in a way none of the other women here couldn’t; this wasn’t a fairytale, not a love story. If I spent time with him tonight, I would never see him again, and I couldn’t feel regretful about it. I wouldn’t. It would be a one and done thing.
“It’s a long story,” I finally said. “And not a happy one, either.”
“Well, I know you don’t know me, but sometimes letting it out to a stranger is exactly the kind of medicine you need.” His head bent in the direction of the hall, where the more private rooms were. “We could even go in the back, have some privacy, if you wanted.”
I didn’t know if going somewhere where it could be just the two of us was smart, if it would help me make a decision and stifle the doubts in the back of my head. Maybe it would just make things worse, but I supposed I could try.
Or we could try.
As I was lost in thought, the masked man stood up. At first, I thought he was going to walk away, having finally given up on me, but he stopped, turned around, and offered me his hand. He said not a single word as he extended that hand to me, offering to help me up. I stared at that hand, unblinking. It should be a meaningless gesture, much like everything in this club was meant to be, but… but things were never that easy with me.
Holding my breath, I didn’t move for a few moments. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my blood pumping harder, and at the same time, a chill crept up my spine, the uneasiness rising in my gut. I hesitantly lifted a hand. It’s what the gloves were for, right? I slipped my hand into his.
The only problem was that these particular gloves were short, and the man’s hands were large. The edge of his palm grazed my wrist, but I didn’t have time to dwell on the feeling of his warmth seeping into me, nor did I have the time to recoil and pull myself away from him. He pulled me to my feet, and I found out then just how tall he really was. Even with my heels, he still towered over me.
An impressive man, surely. What the hell was he doing here, to begin with? And, with that, what the hell was he doing here with me? He could have anyone here; why go for the girl in the corner, sitting by herself?
He didn’t let my hand go; he led me through the Playground’s main room. As we headed to the hall, we passed so many people who were already lost in ecstasy, in their own carnal pleasure. Bodies entangled, moans aplenty. We went from a large room whose air smelled of sex and sweat to an empty hall. He brought me to the first empty room we came across, and he only released my hand to shut the door behind us.
I stood staring at a heart-shaped bed, its sheets made of some kind of satin and velvet, as I realized I was alone in a room with a stranger, with a man who could do whatever he wanted to me, even if I fought him. Even if I said no.
But… no. I wasn’t the same girl I was three years ago. I was someone new. I was stronger. That’s why I was here, to fully overcome the past, to shed the scars that night had given me, and if that meant willingly surrendering to a nameless man in a sex club, then that’s what I’d do.
The man walked around me, moving to the bed. He sat on its edge, his lips drawn into an expression that was halfway to a frown. The room had a bit more lighting, although with all the switches near the door, I’d bet we could adjust that. But, since there was more light, I could see just how intense this guy really was.
“If I tell you, I want you to tell me something,” I started, slow to move to the bed and sit beside him. I kept a good foot between us.
All he did was nod.
I stared down at my lap. “I’m not going to get into the details. I… I try not to think about it. Doesn’t mean it actually happens, but I try.” When I stopped talking, the room was full of silence. The jazz music that played on the speakers in the main room did not play here. “I’ve never…”
God, how could I say this without sounding like I was asking for pity? Pity was the last thing I wanted from the man beside me. The absolute last thing.
“If you’re going to tell me you’ve never been with a man—” He started, clearly having the wrong idea.
“No,” I spoke, shaking my head once. “I have. Just… not someone I chose to be with. I’ve never been with someone I picked.” I hated saying it out loud, hated admitting my past to this stranger.
I shouldn’t have said anything. Fuck. What was I thinking?
Nerves getting the best of me, I got up. “I shouldn’t be here. This—this was a mistake. I’m sorry. You should find someone else to be with tonight.” I started toward the door, and I made it, my gloved fingers curling around the handle. I was seconds from pulling it open when a strong arm appeared beside my head, holding the door closed.
The man had got up and followed me, and he’d not made a single sound while doing it. I’d be impressed, if I wasn’t so lost in my own head.
We stood there, unmoving, for a while. Neither one of us spoke right away, and I was too hyper aware of his nearness to turn around and look him in the face to try to see what he was thinking.
“No one should have to go through that,” he spoke, his voice falling onto my ears like honey. Steady, slow, warm—much like his breath on the back of my neck.
“I don’t want your pity,” I hissed. My hand still held onto the doorknob, but its grip loosened with each passing second. In terms of sheer strength, the man behind me would win every single time.
“I’m not pitying you. You’re here, aren’t you? Your past might haunt you, but you’re still here. That shows me you’re stronger than you think you are,” he told me. “If you think I’m letting you walk away after that—”
“I could hit the button,” I said.
“You won’t. It’s why you’re here. I’m starting to understand you, princess.” His voice dropped to a whisper when he added, “Come back to the bed with me.” That sentence was murmured out in a way that caused something in me to heat up in spite of everything.
I shouldn’t. I should go.
