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I stared into her eyes, unblinking as I said, “I don’t want to take anything from you.” My skin was lined with sweat; I had no idea how long we’d fought, but it had to be for more than just a few minutes.
Shay and I stared at each other for a little while. She was slow to say, “I believe you.” She took two steps toward me, getting in my face before she whispered, “But if you try anything again, no matter who made you do it, I won’t be as nice next time.”
I didn’t say anything, letting her have the threat. The truth was, I wasn’t scared of Shay or what she could do to me. Everything terrible that a girl would never want to happen to her had already happened to me, so what was a little bit of pain here and there? It didn’t mean anything to me. Not anymore.
But I didn’t say that. I let her, because I understood where she was coming from. If I had an army of boyfriends and some girl tried to sniff around one of them, I’d get pissed, too. Instead, I said, “Will this affect my father’s run for the position?”
“I guess that depends what happens from here.” Shay folded her arms over her chest. “So, it was Miguel’s idea, then?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you also didn’t deny it.”
I told Shay the only thing I could: “He’s my father.” Three simple words that wouldn’t mean anything to someone who didn’t deal in blood debts and loyalty from the very day they were born. I knew what I meant, and based on the way Shay looked at me then, she knew, too.
“I get it. If my father was still alive, I wouldn’t be where I am today.” She turned her head, her lips pursing. “Doing whatever he said was a given. I never wanted to become a wife and a mother. I wanted to be on the Black Hand, but my brother was first in line. There was never any question that he would be the one to take over the Arrowwood name eventually.”
“Look at you now.”
Shay’s dark brown eyes, a shade or two darker than mine, returned to me. “They had to die in order for things to change for me, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” She stepped closer to me, lowering her voice, as if we had an audience. “No one needs to die for things to change. If you want something, do it. Take it. Live your life however you want to. It’s something I wish I would’ve known before.”
Getting advice from Shay Arrowwood wasn’t something I thought I’d do, walking into this house. And, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, the advice was sound. Based not only on her personal experience, but also Piper’s. My story would be a repeat of theirs if I continued down the path I was on.
“What do you want, Giselle?” Shay asked.
I didn’t know if she expected an answer from me or not, but I kept my reply to myself, knowing it wasn’t something she should hear. It was something I’d debated on a lot lately, especially after finding Father Charlie’s corpse.
To hell with it. To hell with all of it. To hell with my father and his attempt to claim the Black Hand position. To hell with anything he wanted me to do to further his name, to play his games, to be his fucking pawn. I was done with it. Done with it all.
This was my game now, and the only thing I wanted to do was see my father fail.
Maybe that was wrong of me, but I didn’t care. If I burned bridges, if I fucked things up so bad I had to walk away from my last name… so be it. If I couldn’t walk away from the end of this, if I lost my life in this pursuit, what would it matter? I’d been a dead girl walking for the last three years now.
Shay was right. My loyalty to my father was misguided and misplaced. He was not an honorable man that deserved anything I could do for him. No, the only thing my father deserved to do was to rot.
“Get out of here,” Shay said. “Let me finish my workout. And, if you know what’s good for you, don’t come sniffing around my guys again.” A thinly-veiled threat that had never been more pointless. I wasn’t going to go after any of her guys, not going to flirt with them or touch them or laugh at whatever they said.
From here on out, everything I did would be something I wanted to do. And right now, all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of here.
So that’s what I did.
I spun on my heel, not even bothering to say goodbye to Shay. I left the exercise room, taking the same route through the house that Piper had led me through earlier. Down the stairs I went, through another hall. I was seconds from bursting into the living room area, where I’d left Zander with the guys, but a girly laugh cut through the air, and I stopped.
That was Piper’s laugh, I’d bet. There were no other girls in the house, none I knew about, anyway. I stood near the wall, letting the sound of her laughter sink in. It sounded happy, light, flirty, and I knew what I’d see when I rounded the corner and went into the room. I knew it would probably piss me off.
Best rip the bandage off quickly, then.
Just as another laugh—this one quieter—rose through the air, I gathered myself and walked into the room. Nix and Slade still sat on the couch, as if they hadn’t moved the whole time. Zander still sat on the chair near the couch… only he wasn’t alone. A certain pretty blond girl was on his lap, her long legs draped over his like she was made to be there.
I couldn’t stop staring at them. Not a single person looked in my direction when I walked in, even though they had to know I was there. Zander was busy chuckling softly and shaking his head, saying something so quietly I couldn’t hear. He didn’t appear too concerned that Piper lounged across his lap like he was the most comfortable cushion around.
“Zander,” I called out to him, “I’m ready to go whenever you are.” The moment Zander looked at me over Piper’s head, and Piper turned around and gave me a smile, I walked away. I wasn’t sure if Zander looked like he’d been caught red-handed or if he was sorry for letting Piper get that close to him.
It didn’t matter. Nothing fucking mattered anymore. I didn’t care.
Maybe if I kept telling myself that, sooner or later it would be true.
“Giselle,” Zander’s voice called out to me, but I didn’t stop. I kept going, making it to the front door of the house and pushing outside, the sunlight far too bright and cheery for how pissed off I was.
