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“And if that means I have to go with you to a sex club and watch you bang some stranger because you’re still fighting what’s between us, then I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. It’s a good thing they take away your guns before letting you in the back—”
“Oh, my God, I’m going to kill you.”
“As long as it’s not that Luca. That’s all I ask.” Zander grinned, and just like that, the mood was lightened. I still kind of wanted to kill him, but I let it go.
We swung by the pharmacy, and then he drove me home. My father was nowhere to be seen, which some might find odd, considering his daughter was finally home after her long stay in the hospital, but it was just fine. Zander made me a little lunch to eat with my first pill of the day. To ward off infection was one, and then I had another bottle for when the pain surfaced and became too much.
I didn’t know whether I’d be taking that pill, for this particular pain would serve as a constant reminder that I was not safe here, that I could not let down my guard in Cypress, whether I was around my father or the others. I could trust no one.
The hours ticked by, and still my father wasn’t home. I wasn’t going to complain, because I could breathe easily with him gone. With not a clue as to when he would get home, I spent that time with Zander, who refused to leave my side.
He was… being awfully nice, which was kind of weird. But then again, we’d had yet another passionate embrace—how many more could we have while still trying to fight whatever it was I felt inside? I didn’t know.
I also didn’t know how it would work. I mean, I still didn’t know if I could trust him, if he’d choose me over my father if given the choice. Sure, he’d told me he would, but he could’ve lied.
And, beyond that, I didn’t know if I wanted a boyfriend. To fully give my all to someone… it might seem like a dream to some girls, but to me? I think there was a part of me I had to guard above all else, and that part I would have to keep close. I didn’t know if I could be in a normal relationship, never mind the fact that I was Giselle Santos and my father would someday pick out my husband for me.
Unless… unless I really did take him down.
The thought had crossed my mind before, and the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t deny how appealing it sounded. To take my father down, once and for all, would be like getting the one thing I wanted more than anything else in this world. A ticket to paradise. To see him fail—to really fail—would be a dream come true for me.
If he’d never forced me to be with Rocco three years ago, I wouldn’t harbor such feelings of resentment, but he did, and so here I was, sitting on the couch in the living room beside Zander, trying to space out while watching some stupid program on the TV.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down at the screen, finding I had a text message from a number I didn’t have saved. Eyebrows creasing, I unlocked the phone and took a look at the message. It was from Luca; he’d gone to the hospital to visit me and found out I wasn’t there anymore. I thought about what I should say, if I should invite him here, but Zander read the message over my shoulder.
“Luca,” he muttered. “I forgot you gave him your number. Too bad he didn’t lose it.”
I glared at him, and all he did was shrug, uncaring to hide his jealousy. “Luca is… he’s nice. I like him, Zander.” Never thought I’d say I liked Rocco Moretti’s son, but here we were. Life threw shit at you, and when it did, it tended to surprise you.
“You like him, like…” Zander purposefully trailed off, giving me an intense look.
I bit my bottom lip, well aware that Zander’s gaze momentarily fell to my mouth, watching me do it. If Zander had his way, I’d never look at any other guy again—but that wasn’t me. “He’s not as bad as I thought he was.”
“I don’t know. He’s kind of annoying.”
“You think everyone’s annoying, especially if they show any interest in me whatsoever.” With a pointed look in his direction, I watched Zander shrug again. He didn’t argue with me, not about any of it. My fingers worked to text Luca back, and I told him I was at home.
“I thought you hated him. When you first met him, you didn’t act like yourself.”
I said the next bit before thinking, “That wasn’t because of Luca.” The moment I said it, I wished I could take it back, mostly because I didn’t feel like spilling my heart out to Zander. What Rocco did to me, the way I’d avoided touch ever since that night, how I’d wanted to throw myself off a fucking bridge and end it all—it was too much.
Too personal.
Zander asked, “What do you mean?” His body leaned closer to mine on the couch, not quite touching me, but so close I could smell him. I couldn’t describe his smell, but I knew I liked it. I wanted to lean into him and breathe him in, and I barely was able to stop myself.
We’d hear my father come home, so it wasn’t like we would risk him walking into anything, but still. Getting too comfy with him in this house was probably a bad idea.
My phone buzzed again, and I muttered, “Nothing.” The message from Luca said he was going to come over, and then he asked me if I wanted him to bring me anything.
Why the hell did he have to be so nice to me? It would be a lot easier to hate Luca if he acted like his father.
Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to hate him. I really did. But after spending all that time with him at the hospital, after getting to know him better, I just couldn’t—and I fucking hated it.
When I told Zander about Luca coming over, Zander could not scowl hard enough. “Great.” He leaned forward, grabbed his gun, and checked to make sure the clip was fully loaded. He snapped it back into the Glock, and I sent him a frown.
I wanted to smack him, but I feared doing so would only cause my midsection to ache. It was probably a good idea to resist any random touching for now, too.We might be liable to break out in a make-out session if we did, and obviously that would be bad. I could not stress that fact enough.
“I’m just saying, if he makes one wrong move, I’ll—”
