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He gave a half laugh and smiled, then realized it was no joke. “Rowan, I need to be Sam.”
I shook my head in response and pushed him away from me. There were so many things I needed to say before I lost the courage. I hated to bare myself and my secrets, but I’d decided that already when I let him inside me.
”As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that being with someone, being intimate with them… it’s the most vulnerable thing you can do in this life. Having that connection opens up every wound, every fear, every feeling, and leaves you exposed to all the pain.”
“I won’t hurt you, Rowan. We’re in this together.”
“What we just did, opening myself up to you like that, it’s already unlocked wounds.”
Sam tilted his head and remained quiet. I spoke in riddles, and he didn’t understand. I had to make him understand.
“You can talk to me,” he said. “I want you to talk to me. I want to be what you need.”
“You don’t need to be Sam. You need to know about Sam. You need to understand what Sam means to me and where your name came from.”
