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Chapter Seventeen
Liar
Therewasnosuch thing as a weekend on a farm. Animals ate every day, and machinery broke down when it wanted. People complained about misplaced weekends more than anything else on Thalassa, and they loved nothing more than to gossip and grumble. In their lives before, they had looked forward to a Friday night. Now they worked ten days in a row with one or two off. Weekends weren’t my reality for as long as I could remember, so it wasn’t a loss for me.
The school remained open seven days a week. They either stayed on pace, repeated studies, or tested out. All four boys made it into the same class and planned to stick together. Lori and I kept them in six days a week, mostly because there was nothing for them to do outside those walls.
It was a mundane existence. Time meant nothing and days ran together, and that was how we carried on for several weeks. It wasn’t until I had a reason that I started counting time.
Twenty-four hours until I see Sam.
How many weeks had I been on this boat? When was the first and last time I was with Sam? Where was my fucking period?
Time mattered again.
Dean hadn’t returned to our cabin yet, and BeLew stayed with Lori and the boys to play on deck. I rocked back and forth on the edge of the mattress, contemplating what I would tell Dean. He had walked me home an hour ago and left again. He was with a woman, no doubt, not that it mattered. It might put him in a good mood. His mood grew worse each day, each time I rejected his advances.
He knew about Lori helping the two hundred, but we never spoke about me taking part. He might not care. Not once had I mentioned Sam’s name, not in our four weeks together. He wouldn’t suspect him to be there. Or was that a lie I was telling myself to get through this conversation?
When the door opened, I stilled my rocking, unsure of what would happen next. My dreams lately were pieces of an impossible puzzle - a fire with puffs of smoke reaching the sky, my foot soaked in blood, running through trees in the darkness. Sam wasn’t there, and neither were BeLew. I shuddered at what that might mean. I wished I had concentrated on my visions over the past month, and willed them to show me something about this day or this plan. It might not have worked, but my nerves spun in overdrive, and I chastised myself for not trying.
I never spoke to Dean the first hour or two when he came home. He would be content from his encounter, but also frustrated. No need to poke the bear. Unfortunately, I had to get tonight over with, so I lacked the patience for our typical two-hour delay.
“How was your workday?” My question was simple enough, unassuming.
“Boring. Monotonous as always. As was the past hour after I got off work.” He tilted his chin down towards me, begging me to inquire. His bait hung thick in the air between us.
“Come sit with me.” I patted the mattress at my side, and he obliged. His hand moved under my shirt and up my back. I resisted the urge to wince or lean away. His other hand gripped mine and he moved it onto his leg, forcing an intimate seating arrangement. I gritted my teeth and crossed my legs in his direction.
“What’s up, Rowan? You need something from me?” He moved to my ear, gently nipping. His nails ran down my back, and I did my best not to react. He knew me too well. What buttons to push.
“I want to go to the lower decks and help Lori. I have before, but I want to be honest with you about it.”
He moved his head back, and I turned to face him.
“That’s bold, Row. Your soft heart has gotten you into trouble before. What makes you think it won’t again?”
“I’ve never thought of myself as soft-hearted, but I don’t want to lose what’s left of my empathy. Albeit there isn’t much remaining.” I grimaced, knowing that was pure honesty. It had been Dean’s advice to stick to the truth as much as possible when I spewed lies. I had to see Sam, but I needed to help the stowaways before my heart turned to stone.
“Do you have any empathy for my situation?” Dean’s nails scratched harder up and down my back.
“You know I love you,” I admitted. “That can’t and won’t change.”
“In what way, though? Love like a friend, or a man you want inside you? Somewhere in the middle, maybe?” His mouth moved back to my ear. “This broken heart of yours should have healed up by now. Sam is a liar. You think he’s pining for you in that small bed he used to fuck you in? He’s living it up a few doors down from Matthews. Now that he knows he’s safe, he’s getting more pussy than I am. And we both know I’m fucking everything I can to keep my mind off of your sweet cunt.”
I flinched, and Dean moved his hand to the back of my head, pushing his fingers through my hair. “What part of that bothers you?”
“Both parts, if I’m being honest.”
“Seems to be your motto lately, not that I mind.” Dean’s fingers curled around the base of my hair and tugged. My head dropped back, exposing my neck. He moved his mouth to it, gently licking and sucking. He moved my hand between his legs, and his cock twitched when my hand wrapped around his length.
Play the game, Rowan.
He gripped my hair harder, causing me to gasp. Lifting his face to mine, my breath turned uneven and ragged. I still had a visceral response to Dean. His force and confidence could make me wet, even when I feared him. I wasn’t proud of it, but accepting your weaknesses gives you power over them. This encounter needed to stop, even if a fight took its place.
“You were just inside another woman,” I hissed.
His grasp on my hair tightened, making my eyes water. “And whose fault is that? You lay next to me every night and feel my dick hard against your ass. You ignore it, pretend I’m not there, like you can’t do a damn thing about it. When I’m not here, do you touch yourself thinking about Rivera? He’s not thinking about you.”
