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Everest
Myfavoritekindof Walt is carefree, smiling, and happy Walt. His face lights up like a Christmas tree. He’s so serious with his performance that he, Whit and Rowe were challenged with that it makes me smile.
The song, it’s Gonna be Me, playing gives me all the joy I could imagine as I dance to it, remembering the choreography, and then when Walt turns back to look at me, I back away. Not because he can’t watch me do it, but because I know he’s frustrated with me.
There are things I want to tell him, desperately, but I need to figure it out on my own. I need to do this right.
Once I’m in the kitchen, my phone pings again and I look down at it.
Unknown: Ring around… ring around…
Shutting my eyes, I focus on the performance. I don’t want to lose my mind again and have what I had when the journalist mentioned Happy, the clown.
After that, I doubled check that the man whose real name is Ray Schwartz is behind bars. He’s never once contacted me like this before, so I’m trying to not freak out.
Walt had a difficult time with me, and the last thing I want to do is make him do it all over again. I don’t want to be weak or seen as this weak female who needs someone else to rescue her all the time. I want to do it for myself.
“Hey, hey!” I hear a voice greet me and I jump.
“Oh, God!” I say and clear my throat. “Sorry.” My eyes connect with Moonlight’s, and I smile at her.
She’s a really nice person and although I was and am still a little jealous of her and Walt’s relationship; I know that I’m even more glad that he has someone in his corner besides his family.
“Are you alright, Everie?” She asks as she grabs a glass of water.
“Yeah,” I nod, but deep inside, I’m lying. I have no fucking idea how I even came to sit on the stool, lost in thought, with a glass of water in my hand.
“Are you sure?” She asks. “If you need to talk with someone and Walt is getting on your nerves, maybe I could be someone?” She smiles and looks at my hand from across the counter.
My eyes follow it as the hand tremors kick in. I quickly hide my hand and stand. “I’m nervous about the damned play. Opening night is tonight. It’s the big night!”
Moonlight doesn’t say anything for a moment and another message comes through my phone.
Pockets full of Everies. Ashes… Ashes…
I immediately block the number and clear my throat while trying not to lose my mind. I’m not freaking crazy. This has something to do with Ray Schwartz.
I reach for the glass again and shut my eyes for a moment but immediately all I see is Ray Schwartz’s tall and what at the time I thought was gigantic stature, dunk me into ice water for not listening to him and sneaking out. I almost made it around the corner that time, but I never tried again. I was afraid.
Ashes… Ashes… My pretty girl never falls down.That’s how Ray sang it to me every night.
“Everie? Earth to Everie…” I hear it, but it sounds muffled. Semi-blocked. A touch on my hand pulls me out with a deep inhale of breath and all I hear is a crashing on the kitchen floor.
“Oh, my!”
Moonlight is right beside me, and I realize she was trying to get my attention. Blinking hard, I look from her to the kitchen floor. There’s broken glass at my feet.
Quickly, I bend on my knees and begin picking up the pieces.
“Is everything alright in here?” I hear Whit ask. “Everie, what are you doing?” He asks and someone yanks me off the floor.
“Are you hurt?” Walt asks gruffly while he looks at my hands filled with the glass fragments that he immediately makes me drop and then Moonlight to make sure she’s good.
I look at Moonlight pleading with her to not say anything. Please…
“We were laughing about something and Everie was trying to teach me a dance move, but I knocked the glass to the ground. We’re good.” She looks straight into Walt’s eyes, and I relax.
Walt nods and after he’s sure I’m not hurt; he looks at me. He isn’t saying anything, he’s just staring, and I know what he wants. It’s written all over his face and in his eyes. He can’t know. I can’t tell him.
