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He studies the bed like he’s considering something. “I wonder how much one of these cost…”
“You’re beyond extra,” I chastise him with the white paper crinkling underneath me.
Dr. Marin Delgado bursts into the room, flashes me a killer smile, then looks down at my chart.
“Welcome back, Ms. LeClaire.”
“Mrs. Hale,” Oran corrects, his phone game no longer fun.
“That’s right. You got married this year. I’ll have the nurse update your name. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hale.” He rambles, then studies my chart. “Says here you want to check your implant.” He flips his green eyes from the chart to me. “And possibly remove it.” He waggles his brows and makes me laugh. “We’re getting into the baby business!”
“Um… who are you exactly?” Oran asks.
“Her OB GYN,” Dr. Delgado answers as he slips his gloves into place. “You know the drill, Mrs. Hale. Legs up. Don’t act like we just met.”
I giggle because he always makes me laugh. I’m desensitized to his bearded hotness.
“Nah. Banned. I don’t approve,” Oran folds his arms and frowns. “I thought you had a female doctor. Maria something.”
Dr. Delgado chuckles because he’s used to this thing while I cover my face with embarrassment.
“Ma-rinnn. N no A.” Dr. Delgado corrects him. The nurse ducks into the room. “Good! The nurse is here, let the fun begin.”
“Still sounds like a woman’s name. Wait, so men are okay with you being all up in their wife’s pussy?”
Dr. Delgado chuckles while I pray for the world to swallow me. “Medically? Yes. I’m sure they’d have a problem with all other possibilities.”
“Karessa is married now.”
“I’m aware. June, update her last name to Hale, por favor. Back to what you were saying, Mr. Hale. This is normal.” Dr. Delago peeks at his chart one more time with his sterilized hands still in the air. “I’ve been examining your wife’s vigina for about six years. You’re welcome.”
June and I look at each other and she gives me a sympathetic pat on my shoulder.
“Okay, Mrs. Hale. If it doesn’t hurt, I’m not doing it right.” His warning is quickly followed by gynecological molestation. “Um, I’m fantastic at scavenger hunts, and I cannot find you strings…” I flinch at the flash of pain. “Felt that? Yeah, that was me touching your cervix.”
“Okay, you made your point get out of there,” Oran gripes.
“June, let’s take this party to the ultrasound room.” Dr. Delgado continues as if Oran didn’t speak. “If that sucker is in there, we’ll find it. Mr. Hale, you have an important job right now. Make sure no one sees your wife’s ass when we move down the hall.”
I can barely walk as Oran is on my ass like a secret service agent until we make it to a much colder, darker room. June helps me on the new table as Dr. Delgado covers the wand with plastic and lube.
“What in the hell is that?”
“An ultrasound wand.”
“It looks like a fancy dildo,” Oran points out, not convinced.
“Well, centuries of science and nature have proven one shape is consistent with fitting well in a woman’s vaginal canal.”
“Banned.”
“It’s not happening, Oran. He’s my doctor, don’t get uninvited to my visits.”
Oran laser focus on the device disappearing and inside of me while probably thinking of several ways to kill my OB when Dr. Delgado speaks.
“Okay. The bad news is I’ve confirmed that your IUD is on the lam. It most likely escaped in someone’s toilet somewhere. Good news is I can tell you approximately when that happened.”
“How? Does the damn thing have a tracking device?” Oran inquires.
