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CHAPTER17
Owen
How could I let myself unravel like that? It was stupid, reckless. And I went too far.
Again.
I scared her. Fuck, I scaredmyself.I’ve never felt so dominated by my urges than when I was with her in that bell tower.
All for what? To prove a point?
According to Evie, the only thing I proved was just how big an asshole I am. It’s the truth too. I was headed in the right direction. I was sweet, and I was thoughtful, but that’s never beenme.I feel incomplete unless I’m battling chaos, like ordinary life is too easy for me.
I’ve definitely leveled up though. Evie hates me. It’s only a matter of time before Evie tells someone what happened. How I attacked her. Do I honestly not have a single shred of self-control anymore?
What the hell is it about this woman that makes me lose my shit every time I’m near her?
Her voice.
I’m in my private bathroom. Liam and I are the only Royals with our own en-suites. I came in here to take a cold shower, maybe jerk off so I could ease my aching balls, but the longer I stare at my reflection in the mirror, the less I feel like giving myself pleasure and the more I feel like punching myself in the fucking face.
Her voice?
Is it something she says, or the way she says it? Could be either, could be both. All I know is I couldn’t hold back. Evie found a way inside, and I still don’t how she did it.
Which means I don’t how to fix it.
I can’t believe I let myself frighten her like that. How did my good intention become so twisted? And is there any way I can get her to forget about it? To forget aboutme?
Growling at my gloomy reflection, I start pacing the bathroom.
I could give her back her key. It must mean a lot to her, else she wouldn’t keep pestering me about it. But there’s this strange, selfish part of me that can’t bear the thought of letting it go.
Last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I took it out of my nightstand drawer and toyed with it, trying to figure out what it unlocked. It made me feel close to her, which is weird because she’s literally down the hall.
So, no. I know I can’t keep it forever, but I’m not ready to let it go yet, either. There must be something…
A key.
Notherkey. A different key. Something that will make her feel safe again.
I take out my phone and message Liam, drumming my fingers on the basin as I wait for him to respond. He does after a minute or two and I nod, a faint smile on my face.
He sends another text.
What for?
I don’t bother with a reply.
The only thing on my mind right now is Evie.
* * *
I knock again, frowning at the closed door. I’m itching to push it open, because I know it will be unlocked, but that would be a direct contradiction to why I’m here. I’m trying to make up for what I did, to make sure Evie doesn’t feel threatened by me anymore.
I’ll do anything to ensure she stays quiet about what happened. Because although I made her come, she didn’twantto.
It’s so fucking crystal clear to me now, and I’m struggling to understand how I didn’t realize it at the time. Guess I was caught up in the moment.
