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I don’t miss the surprise that lights up his eyes. I’ve never asked for such drinks when I was here. Though, I figured if I’m going to get through whatever is in store for me tonight, I’m better off with the stronger stuff.
As he turns to get my drink, I take a deep breath and lean my elbow on the bar but quickly remove it. The surface is damp and sticky from stale alcohol. Grabbing a napkin, I wipe my elbow, and I spot it. Next to me, near the beer pump, there is someone’s packet of smokes and a lighter. Swallowing hard, my mind works a mile a minute.
Fire.
Burn this place down.
Yes. That’s what I need that for.
Taking a quick glance over my shoulder, Blake’s talking with his men instead of looking at me. But the moment I switch over to Nicolas, my insides jolt. His eyes are on me, only me, narrowing suspiciously. And he has the right to be suspicious, for I want to burn them all to a fucking crisp in their sleep.
I turn away just as Johnny puts a glass in front of me and pours me a double like he knows what I’m in for tonight. Everyone knows I never want what Blake gives. “Can I have a straw?”
“A straw?” His eyebrow arches. I know you don’t drink vodka straight with a straw, but I need to distract him. He’ll linger, watch me drink, and laugh when I cough from the awful taste. I’ve tasted it before on Blake’s tongue. After a while, he just shrugs. “Help yourself, doll.”
As I lean over the bar to grab a straw, I use my other hand to swipe the lighter. Grasping it in my fist tightly, I dip the straw into the glass. He watches anyway. I do cough. With an amused chuckle and a shake of his head, he finally goes to serve somebody else. I tuck the lighter into my bra, shoving it down the side so it isn’t visible.
Already I feel the vodka fuzzing the edges, I turn back but then bump into a chest. When I look up, Nick’s there, glaring down at me. Silver eyes like a crackle of electricity. “What did you do?”
“Getting a drink,” I say, grabbing my glass with a dribble left. “Here. Do you want some? We were almost parents.”
His eyes bore into mine. “He told you.”
I nod.
Of course, I’d often wonder why I never got pregnant with Blake over the years. He always took me without a condom, and I hadn’t been on contraceptives. And then the moment Nick did it a few times, I ended up pregnant. And I lost that baby. It broke my fucking heart, and this asshole doesn’t looksorryabout it. I even think Blake would show more emotion than he is right now. “Are you even sad about it?”
I don’t know why I ask. Of course, he isn’t. He’s too busy pretending to be something he’s not, and he’s soulless because of it. Something flickers over his cold eyes, and I think for a moment he might say yes, but they glaze over again. “No.”
“Fuckyou.” I go to walk away when he grabs my arm and drags me through a door at the side of the bar. Then, he slams me up against it.
“No, I’ll befuckingyou,” he sneers, putting his hand on my hip. I smack it off, and he grabs me around the throat like he did in Stonehill that time, almost strangling me to death. “I’m going to put another baby in you, and then I’m leaving. He wants a replacement, and you’re not going to fuck this up for me. If you do, I’m going to shoot your fucking sister right between the eyes—”
“Doit. Fucking kill her. You think I give a shit—”
“And kill our child?”
I blink up at him and then frown. “Wh-what?”
“Nicole’s pregnant. Seven weeks.” Before I can accuse him of lying, he pulls out a black and white grainy image of a splotch in a circle from his pocket. It’s an ultrasound with Nicole’s name on the top of it. “Who the fuck knows if itismine. But it’syourfamily. Are you really going to kill another baby?”
I stiffen as he lowers his hand to my chest and gropes my breast. It’s not sexual. He doesn’t get off on it one bit. Just like it always was between us. His fingers dip down my bra and latch around the lighter. He pulls it out and grins. It’s as evil as his father. “You’re too predictable—try harder, bitch.”
