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“People are judgy and weird about it,” I said quietly. “Besides, OnlyFans wasyouridea in the first place. I didn’t even know about it.”
“I know,” he said, his head bobbing. “And believe me, I regret it every single day of my life.”
“What’s your problem, Cody?”
“I feel like I’m going crazy! I hate what I’ve become!” he said, fists gripping at his hair. “When you were telling me about your crush on that hockey player, Iactuallystarted to panic, because I’m thinking, shit, you’re smoking hot—what if this guy subscribes to your OnlyFans? Who knows? Feasibly, you actuallycouldget this guy—”
“Oh my God.Rust Walker?!Are you serious? He’s best friends with my dad! You’re being ridiculous!”
“I am serious, Izzy! I’m so consumed by paranoia that someone better looking, someone with money, is going to steal you away from me—”
“You’re acting crazy.”
“Well, good! Because Ifeelcrazy! And it’s all because you droveme crazy!”
More and more people stared as Cody’s voice continued to rise.
“Please calm down,” I whispered. “People are staring.”
“Whatever,” Cody said, but he took a deep breath and seemed to calm down. “Ever since you dropped out of school,” he began, his eyes slowly rising to meet mine, “it feels like our lives are going in two different directions. I don’t even feel like I know you anymore.” A weight immediately seemed to fall from his shoulders. “There. I said it.”
Oof.
“Different how?”
“All you talk about is your content, your fans, your metrics, your ‘brand.’ Blah, blah, blah. I hate it.Hateit.”
“It’s notallI talk about,” I said defensively.
“Feels like it,” he replied curtly. “Your whole life revolves around it.”
“Well, it’s myjob.And I’m making good money doing it.”
“I know, I know,” he said, frustrated. “I just want—” he cut himself off before he said whatever was on his mind. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me. What do you want?” I asked.
“I just want a normal girlfriend,” he said. “Someone like me. A broke college kid. I want to do all that poor college kid bullshit. I want to clip coupons and shop at the dollar store and drink shitty beer. I want a fancy birthday dinner to feel special because I had to scrimp and save for it.”
My heart started to ominously pound in my chest. “So what are you saying?”
He folded up his napkin and slapped it on the table. “I’m saying I can’t do this anymore.”
“You’re breaking up with me? On mybirthday?”
“They’resooverrated, anyway,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“What about the game with my dad?” I asked breathlessly. “Do you really have to do this tonight?”
“You actually want me to go along and act like everything’s fine in front of your dad?” He snickered. “Sorry, Izzy. I can’t keep the lies going anymore. I don’t know how you do it, honestly.”
“Lies?What lies?”
“C’mon, Izzy, really? Your dad still thinks you’re in school, for fuck’s sake. If you’re so proud of what you’re doing with your life, why doesn’t Daddy know the truth? You should tell him tonight. Tell him you spread your butthole on the internet for—”
Cody never finished his sentence, because a torrent of ice cold water suddenly blasted his face. The dinner crowd gasped in shock.
“Fuck you,” I said, slamming the empty water glass on the table. “YouknowI don’t do that.”
Cody looked stunned as water dribbled down his face. I fetched my clutch and hightailed it out of there.
