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“Then why do you push me away?”
“Because that’s too much to ask of anyone, especially when I have so little to offer,” he says bitterly. “I have nothing. Iamnothing. I was fine with that until I met you and started wanting things I could never have.”
“Simon, I can help you,” I say. “Iwantto help you.”
He shakes his head ruefully. “I was my father’s anchor for ten years, Cat. Now I’m Juliane’s. It’s a prison I accept, but I refuse to sentence anyone else to it, least of all you. It’s not a weight you can simply put down when it becomes too much, not without consequences.”
“Are you worried I’d abandon you in Mesanus?” I demand.
“No.” Simon focuses on his knees. “I know you never would. You’re too stubborn and loyal.” He finally raises his head to look at me again. “I worry that someday you’ll wish you could.”
Like he wanted to leave his father.
I pivot around to sit next to him, our backs to the moon. “Do you know what Mother Agnes once told me?” I wait for him to blink before continuing. “She said we all live in cages. It’s only the lucky ones among us who get to choose which one.”
Simon furrows his brow. “Are you saying I’ve chosen my own cage?”
“You said that yourself.”
“That doesn’t mean you should be caged with me.”
“No.” I grasp his shirt and pull him closer. “But it does mean it’s my choice.”
