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‘Being angry doesn’t change anything,’ she interrupted. ‘It’s done. Andrew will join our father in hell for how he’s treated me over the years plus he’s not getting an invite to our wedding so the whole world will know we’re estranged and that we’ve snubbed him—trust me, that’s social death to him. I was always an embarrassment to that man. And I told you, I was happy to be expelled. I hated that place and that place hated me. No one wanted to be friends with me and I can’t say I blame them,’ she continued, barely pausing for breath. ‘I was always getting the other girls into trouble. I didn’t mean to but the teachers knew that if they asked me who’d been breaking whatever school rules had been broken and I knew who the culprit was then I’d tell them. I didn’t want to and I never would have volunteered the information but if they asked me, what else could I do?’
‘But I thought you were the troublemaker?’
‘I was that too. Well, that’s how they viewed me. I never meant any harm, unless you count bunking off the lessons I hated as harmful, but if a teacher saw me yawning and asked if I was bored when I was bored then what was I supposed to say other than yes? And why was organising a petition to employ people who can actually cook rather than serving cold food that’s so overcooked the nutrients are long dead and buried considered troublemaking, or picketing for the heating to come on earlier in the mornings so we didn’t turn into icicles when getting dressed? And why was pointing out to a maths teacher that there’s a simpler way to formulate an equation considered troublemaking?’
Pulling her back to him and wrapping his arms tightly around her, he rested his cheek against her silky hair and tried to get a grip on the tempest of emotions flooding him.
‘Teachers are never keen to have students challenge their authority,’ he muttered.
With the strong beat of Marcelo’s heart thumping beneath her ear, Clara sighed. For a moment her indignancy relating her hated school days had come close to bubbling into something darker.
It disturbed her how often she’d found herself squashing the darker emotions of her past since she’d been in Ceres. Maybe it was because she’d so stupidly allowed herself to believe that Andrew’s request that she travel to Monte Cleure on his behalf meant he finally wanted to put the past behind them and let her be a sister to him. Or maybe it was because relating it all to Marcelo brought it all back and made it feel more present than it had in a long time.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
‘For what?’
‘Sticking up for me earlier. For being angry on my behalf even if it is pointless. It means a lot.’ It meant more than she could ever express. No one had ever stuck up for her before. Not since her mother. Having someone on her side felt truly special, and she would hold onto it for as long as it lasted.
He gave a muted laugh and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
‘Have you stopped being angry now?’ she asked.
‘I’m trying.’
‘Try harder.’
He gave a muted laugh and kissed the top of her head for the longest time. ‘I don’t think I will ever stop feeling angry about this. Your life could have been so different.’
‘But my life is good. It’s a happy life. I know not many people understand me or get me but I’m cool with that. Like when I told Alessia she was a product of her environment, well, I’m a product of mine. Losing my mum was the single most traumatic moment of my life. I didn’t speak for three months after she died and then when I found my voice again it was shutting up that became my issue. It was like a filter had been ripped away not just from my voice but from my eyes and my impulse controls, and I can’t always control it but I do try and while you and I are married I will try as hard as I can to remember my lessons and not embarrass you.’
He held her even tighter. ‘You could never be an embarrassment to me. You’re uniquely you. Never lose that.’
She pulled her head back to look up at him. Her eyes were shining but Marcelo detected a faint hint of disbelief. ‘Do you mean that?’
‘Yes. And I mean this too...’ He swallowed hard. ‘Bella, when we say our vows, I want them to be real.’
As Marcelo spoke, a rush of relief flushed through him to finally put into words the feeling that had been growing inside him.
‘But they will be real,’ she said. ‘I’m never going to get married again so I won’t be telling any lies when we say them.’
‘That’s not what I mean.’ He pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I don’t want our marriage to last for only a year. I don’t want any end date.’ If he had to marry, why not the woman he was having the best sex of his life with? And it wasn’t just sex. Clara was a breath of fresh air in the staleness of his life—why let that go over an arbitrary cut-off date when he knew damn well he’d never meet anyone like her again? She might not be the perfect princess he was supposed to settle down and breed with, but she was the perfect woman for him.
She pulled her head back again, her eyes wide. ‘Are you saying you want to marry me for real?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re the only woman who can make the mundane fun and I will never meet another you.’
She just stared at him.
‘What do you say?’ he asked into the silence.
She blinked and grazed her bottom lip. ‘Can I think about it?’
A week later, just as the beauticians finished working their magic on Clara for the pre-wedding party, she received notification that Samson and Delilah were cleared to travel to Ceres. After firing messages back and forth, she was delighted when it was confirmed their journey’s end would coincide with her and Marcelo’s return from their honeymoon in the Seychelles. She’d have her family back again!
