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“I mean, I want you there. In my bed. But not until you’re ready.” His dimple popped out on his cheek, and he dragged a hand through his hair.
I grinned and ducked my head. He was so embarrassed that I was embarrassed for him. It was kind of sweet. How on earth had I ever thought Levi was even remotely like Guy? The thought of Guy being embarrassed about anything was laughable.
“I know what you mean, Levi,” I said, once I got myself together again. “I know what this is about.”
“I swear, I’m not going to try anyth—”
“Would you please stop making me promises like that?”
He raised a brow.
“It’s kind of flattering to think there might be something more to you asking me to come and live with you than you simply wanting to protect me from a psychotic stalker ex-boyfriend.”
“You can’t honestly believe there’s not a hell of a lot more involved than that, can you? Cadence, I’ve been pursuing you since you first showed up in Portland more than a month ago. Only I’ve been trying to play by your rules and give you the time and space you need to come to terms with the fact that we’re supposed to be together. And I’m still trying to play by those rules. If you’re not—” He broke off for a moment, crossed over to sit beside me. He took my hand, sending tingles racing up and down my spine. “I don’t want to move too fast. You’ve been through hell, and you’re still in hell. I’m trying to be a good guy and put your needs above mine, but it’s not easy when all I can think about is you. Making sure you’re safe. Doing whatever I can to make you happy. Being with you in every possible way.”
I slid the pad of my thumb in lazy circles over the back of his hand.
“I’ve got to be completely honest with you,” he said, taking me by surprise.
“You haven’t been?” I blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out what he could have been lying about.
“For the most part. But I’ve never told you the whole truth about why I started pursuing you.”
“You mean it wasn’t the spread in ESPN: The Body?”
He licked his lips and grinned. “That might have had something to do with it. But seriously… It was really shitty of me. That night, at Burnzie’s house when I first saw you? I was beating myself up again over being less than my brother, and I wanted to find something—anything—where I was a step up on him.”
“I know that. We talked about it that first time we went to Shari’s. How you’re always comparing yourself to him.”
“But I didn’t tell you all of it. The thing is, these days, you’re more famous than Katie, so I thought…”
“You wanted to date me because I was more famous than your brother’s wife?” I spluttered, trying not to laugh. Only, maybe I didn’t try too hard. Or not at all.
He gave me a sheepish look. “I know. It’s ridiculous, right?”
“It’s kind of funny. Did you seriously think that could somehow make you believe in yourself more?”
“Nah. Not me. I just thought maybe some people would be more likely to take me seriously. But I think that was all in my head.”
“Seems to me you’re finally starting to take yourself more seriously—at least if I’m focusing on how you’re playing these days. You’re not hesitating out there. You’re only doing what you know you need to do.”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Something tells me Bergy wouldn’t say maybe about that. Or your brother. Or anyone.”
“I know. I’m too hard on myself. It’s not an easy habit to break when you’ve been doing it for twenty-four years.”
“But you realize being with me isn’t going to do a darn thing to make you any better or worse than Jamie is, right?”
“Yep. And I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that even though I’ve felt like I’m in competition with him in everything I’ve done my whole life, he hasn’t got a clue.”
“No?”
“No. He only wants the best for me. Like I do for him, to be honest. It’s all been in my head.” He quirked a grin at me, letting that dimple come out again. “Kind of like you. You’re the starring attraction.”
“I’m not just in your head, though. I’m as real as it gets,” I said before I thought better of it. Then I nibbled on my lower lip, watching as his gaze lowered there.
“Trust me.” Levi took a long breath, lingering on it like he was trying to brace himself. “I’m very much aware of precisely how real you are. Too aware.”
