Page 71 of Shadow of Doubt


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“I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“What about me? Didn’t you think I might want to know?” she demanded, anger burning through her blood and controlling her tongue. The nerve of the man!

“What good would it have done?”

“This isn’t about good and bad, Trent! This is about the truth and lies, about trust. You expect me to pretend you’re my husband, let you live in my house, allow you to have a key to my door, for crying out loud, and you can’t even show me the consideration of telling me how you’re connected with Crowley!”

“You didn’t ask.”

“I did,” she corrected, her lips curling. “You said it was personal.”

“It was.”

Throwing her hands up and grabbing the air in frustration, she shook her head. “How could I have been such a fool—such a damned fool?”

“You’re not.” His fingers folded over her arm. “I should have leveled with you, but it didn’t seem important.”

“Not important?” She yanked her arm away and strode to the fireplace, feeling a tide of misery swell in her heart. She loved him and he’d used her. Again. That was the sole basis of their relationship. It could never be anything more. “We’re talking about my life here. Because of what I’m doing I was nearly killed, and you don’t think it’s important!”

A shadow crossed his eyes. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“Then just stop. Okay? Get the hell out of my house and the hell out of my life! Leave me alone, Trent.” For God’s sake, leave me alone to lick my wounds and start over.

But he didn’t. Cursing under his breath, he walked straight to her, and his expression was a mixture of anger, disgust and fear. “I can’t, Nikki.”

“Oh, spare me the protector routine. It’s wearing a little thin.”

“I love you.”

The words echoed through her apartment and reverberated through her soul.

“I always have.”

He reached for her, and she slapped him with a smack. “Don’t say it, Trent. No more lies!” she cried as the red welt appeared on his cheek. Horrified that she’d struck him, she took a step backward but not before he caught her wrist and yanked her hard against him. His eyes slitted and she remembered once thinking that he was cruel.

“I’ve lied about a lot of things, Nikki, and I’m not proud of the fact, and I’m not going to tell you that all my reasons were noble, because they weren’t. I slept with you, made love to you because I couldn’t stop myself, damn it. I even rationalized that it was necessary, but I didn’t count on falling in love with you.” His fingers dug deep into her flesh. “If there was any way I could have prevented falling for you, you’d better believe I would have.”

Her throat worked painfully. “I don’t believe you,” she choked out. How could she trust a man who had lied to cover lies? The words were music to her ears, but like a false melody they would fade quickly, disappear when the time was convenient, never to be recalled again.

“I love you, Nikki.”

Again, those horrible, wonderful words. Her heart wanted to explode and tears filled the back of her eyes.

“I think I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you.” He sighed loudly, playing out his role. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a sentimental sap. This isn’t like me, but I fell in love with you, and I swear, as long as I live, I’ll never love another woman.”

Oh, God! She wanted to believe him. With all of her heart, she wanted to trust and love this man, but she couldn’t. As tears slid in tiny streams from her eyes, she tossed off his arm and shook her head. “And I swear to you, as long as I live, Trent McKenzie, I’ll never trust you.” Feeling as if she were shattering into a thousand pieces inside, she stepped away from him and brushed the tears from her eyes. “It’s too late.”

“Nikki—” He reached for her but she stood on wooden legs, refusing to go to him.

“Even if there was a chance for us once upon a time, it’s over. Leave, Trent,” she insisted, fighting the urge to run to him.

“But—”

“Just drop the key on the counter and walk out that damned door!”

He studied her long and hard, looking for cracks in her composure, then, grimacing, he turned on his heel, grabbed his jacket and walked out of her life. The door slammed with a thud, shaking the room.

Her knees started to give way. She grabbed the corner of a table and afraid she might fall into a puddle and cry for him to come back to her, she ran to the bathroom, locked the door, turned on the shower and stripped off her robe. Steam billowed, filling the room and her lungs as she stepped under the warm spray and prayed that the hot needles of water would wash away the pain in her heart. She loved Trent, was destined and doomed to love him all of her life, but she wouldn’t let him know how she felt. She had already experienced too much pain at his hands—she’d never be fool enough to give him the chance to hurt her again.

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