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“Maybe we should call some of the guys?” Bailey suggested, though it was about the last thing she wanted right now. But it was what Carmen wanted, and whether Carmen knew it or not, Bailey was a better friend to her than she was to Bailey.
“You don’t think Tanner’s with Delta?”
“I was thinking more of McCrae or Justin Penske or . . .” She trailed off at Carmen’s snort. Her friend was back lying on the bed again, glaring at the ceiling.
“What do you think’s going to happen with Amanda and Delta?” C
armen asked.
“Nothing good,” Bailey said with feeling.
“Maybe Tanner’ll decide to quit them both.”
“Maybe.”
“I applied to U of O,” Carmen said now, surprising Bailey. They’d both planned to take courses at Portland Community College and get part-time jobs.
“You did? Oh.” How could she forget that Tanner had won an academic scholarship there and hoped to make the football team?
“He’s really smart, too, y’know,” Carmen said defensively.
“Did I say he wasn’t?”
“His dad’s a doctor, and his mom was pre-law.”
Bailey nodded slowly. Tanner’s dad had been a medical doctor before he got involved with drugs himself—or so the story went— and had his license suspended. His parents had divorced, and his mom had gone to work for a law firm, while ex-Dr. Stahd had turned his life around and now prescribed over-the-counter herbal supplements with his new, younger-model wife.
“Tanner’s going to be a doctor, too,” she said.
“I know.”
“Bailey? Honey? I’m getting ready to leave, and I want to say good-bye.” Her mother’s voice called up the stairway.
“Gotta go.” For once Bailey was ready to leave. She’d hoped Carmen’s obsession with Tanner would dissipate as the school year came to a close, but for some reason, their imminent graduation seemed to have only heightened it.
“I’m going to spend the night at Amanda’s, no matter what,” Carmen told Bailey with conviction. “My dad can ground me or whatever. I’m already eighteen. He can kick me out. I don’t care. I’m going.”
Chapter 4
The party at Amanda’s took place three weeks before graduation. Delta stood to one side of the barbeque pit Coach Dean Sutton and one of the school counselors, Clarice Billings, had created with the help of the senior boys. Tanner had been involved in the dig as well, taking off his shirt on this unseasonably warm May day, creating a minor stir among the girls, who hooted and hollered as if he were a Chippendales dancer.
Delta had grinned until her cheeks hurt, pretending to think it was all so much fun, when in reality she wanted to sink down onto the blanket on the grass and sob her heart out.
Things had not gotten better with Tanner. Maybe she’d let him off the hook too easily. He’d stopped talking to her about Amanda, but worse yet, he now acted like she’d given him carte blanche to hang around with her ex-friend and generally behave as if his kiss with Amanda was no big deal. In fact, it almost felt like he was flaunting his independence from Delta.
The last few weeks had been horrifyingly awful. How had this become her problem and not his? And Amanda? Like Tanner, she acted as if nothing had happened. She treated Delta like they were still friends, with just a shade more distance between them. The rest of the Firsts had taken their cues from both Delta and Amanda and pretended as if the make-out session on the pool table was a myth. But one little kiss, it wasn’t. Delta was pretty sure about that. There were vibes, undercurrents, tacit agreements, sideways looks that were meant to be bland but held secrets.
It was torture. Her heart clutched, like it had so many times these long, miserable days. She’d already lost him. It was over. Her dreams, her love, everything.
And it was Amanda’s fault.
Delta realized she’d been lost in a fog for most of the day and made an effort to resurface. There were a couple of pitched tents, but the parents had all gotten together and sent e-mails swirling and put the kibosh on a big, overnight campout. The tents that stood in the field belonged to Amanda’s family, who’d turned them into board-game centers where the seniors could get out of the sun and hang together. There was also a badminton net strung between two poles and a croquet field. Coach Sutton had decided to have a pig roast, and he’d been at the site for hours and hours, and apparently there were still hours to go.
So . . . no overnight, which was fine with Delta. The thought that she might fall asleep while Tanner and Amanda were still awake and somehow escaping the adults’ watchful eyes, maybe heading into the deep woods on the north side of the property above the river canyon for some extracurricular activity, was more than she could bear.
She inhaled and exhaled. Carmen and Bailey were playing badminton with McCrae and Justin Penske and having a good time, if Delta could correctly read the squeals of laughter and ribald jokes zinging back and forth. Ellie was being her usual brownnoser self, hanging around the barbeque pit and talking to Miss Billings and the coach. There was another teaching assistant with them as well, but Delta didn’t know his name. He seemed more interested in Miss Billings than anything else.
Amanda was riding a golf cart back and forth between the house and the picnic/party/barbecue near the river, fetching items from the kitchen—sodas, water, paper plates, and other supplies. Sometimes Tanner would jump into the front seat with her, and Delta had seen them turn to each other and share a grin.
