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“Probably.”
Amanda meant to hang up, but Zora said, “I kinda want to talk about something.”
“Zora, I am busy.”
“It won’t take long. I was talking to Brian about everything, you know? Even about the senior barbeque. We just started talking and . . . you know what he said?”
Amanda crushed her teeth together, trying to keep from being unspeakably rude and just hanging up.
“He wants a divorce! I think he’s serious! I don’t even think he ever wanted a baby! His feelings all just came pouring out. I wasn’t going to tell anybody, but I just need to talk. I’m devastated.”
“Zora . . .” Amanda really didn’t want to go there with her. “I gotta go.”
“What am I supposed to do now, huh? I think there’s someone else, too; he’s just not saying.”
“This sounds like something you need to work out with him.”
“God, Amanda. You were nice to me today. Now you’re not.”
“I’m just turning into my house, and I’ve still got work to do tonight.”
“Okay, sure.”
“And I want to catch the late news, so I’m going to work until it’s on.” Then, because she could tell she’d really hurt Zora’s feelings, she added, “If it makes any difference, I don’t think Brian was ever in love with Anne Reade. He married you.”
“I don’t think it’s Anne. I think it’s Clarice Billings.”
“Oh, come on.” Amanda half-laughed.
“I’m serious. Miss Billings is still really cute, at least she was at the reunion.”
“Clarice Billings is only interested in her career. Take it from one who knows. Don’t you remember the way she played up to Principal Kiefer? How she leaned on him after he and Bailey’s mom broke up after Carmen’s death? I saw them on a date once that summer, and it did not look like it was going well on her part. I think he bored her to tears. Then she got that better job, probably at his recommendation, and she was outta West Knoll like a shot. Brian’s lucky to have you. You’re younger, sweeter, and better-looking.”
“You really think so?” Zora asked in a small voice.
“Yes.”
“Or maybe it’s someone else in our class. You think that could be it? At the reunion he kept looking at Delta . . .”
Amanda pulled around to the back of her house. The two-bay detached garage, which was far enough away from the house to be more of an outbuilding, was filled to the gills with her parents’ stuff that she’d moved out of the house. She preferred to park on the tarmac apron in the back.
“But I heard him on the phone . . . I’m pretty sure he was talking to a woman.”
“Then ask your husband. There’re a million reasons people say they want a divorce. Make him give you one. And while you’re at it, tell him to grow the fuck up.”
She clicked off. Swear to God, dealing with needy people is the worst.
She thought about how the most gung ho of the do-gooders, Rhonda and Trent, had wanted to help her after Thom’s accident, how she’d agreed during the worst of the crisis, and how somehow they’d both tried to worm their way into a close friendship with her, which she’d neither wanted nor needed. She’d had to cut them out. Pathetically, they’d still considered her the head of the Five Firsts, and that had apparently meant something.
She’d lied to Zora about taking work home. She’d specifically finished up everything that was pressing while she was at the office. She thought now about going for a run on the cliff path above the river, something she usually did at lunchtime, but it was too late and too dark. Switching on the TV, she set up the DVR to record the late-evening news, then she sat down and watched mindless television until it came on. So Ellie had finally gotten some prime-time air. The powers that be at her station had never put her on hard news before. She’d been trying to sleep her way to the top, in Amanda’s biased estimation, and, hey, whatever works for you, Amanda always felt. She’d done much the same thing, though she’d believed she’d loved the asshole at one time. Since then, she’d learned there was no such thing as love, at least for her. She didn’t feel it, and she had the sneaking suspicion that so-called love was really just desire and lust, and that was basically a chemical reaction in the brain anyway.
When the news finally came on, Ellie’s segment with Dr. Lester Stahd, who continued with his rantings and accusations, was the lead story. Zora had said Stahd was vicious, which was the right word. Stahd just looked like a madman, wildly grieving for his son. His wife had gotten dolled up for the camera, but she was in the background.
Amanda watched the segment, reversed the DVR, and watched it again. She ended up watching it five times, taking the measure of the elder Dr. Stahd. No wonder Tanner had been so screwed up. His father was as much of a bullying loser as her own mother. It’s a wonder we make it to adulthood as sane as we are. Parents are destroyers.
Except Delta’s. They’d been normal and nice. Lovely people, really. Amanda had always been jealous of them.
It was almost midnight when she decided to text Delta: I’m in. Let’s meet tomorrow around five at my house.
