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Luke raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging her to continue.
“I’m not making excuses. I should have told Dave the truth. I thought I was protecting my son and myself, but really—I only ended up hurting Josh.” She managed a thin, frail smile. “I made a mistake. A big one.”
“Everyone does.” Surprisingly, he didn’t seem to judge her.
Folding her arms under her breasts, trying to maintain some semblance of poise, she fought tears. “So, cowboy from Texas, what does it matter to you?”
“I already told you that I knew Dave. Worked for years for Dave’s father, Ralph.”
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t like the way this was heading.
“And you know I bought my place from him.” Luke seemed as tense as she. His shoulders were rigid, his eyes watching her every move.
“Maybe you should tell me what I don’t already know.” She was careful. Wary. Where was the warm man to whom she’d made love only a few days before?
“As I said, I didn’t buy the place with cash, really. I worked for him, he withheld part of my paycheck with the understanding that I’d one day use that money as a down payment on a place outside of Dallas. However, that didn’t work out, and he offered me full ownership out here instead. It was a deal I couldn’t pass up.”
He’d told her all this before, but nothing he’d said so far explained the rigid set of his jaw or the lines of silent anger that bracketed his mouth. “So?”
“He asked a favor of me before I headed west.”
Here it comes. “What kind of favor?” she asked, not really sure she wanted to know. Her pulse thundered through her brain.
“Ralph asked me to do some checking when I came into town. Before his death Dave had mentioned that he might have fathered a child back here, and Ralph wanted to locate that grandchild if he had. That’s why I came over here tonight. To get this all out in the open. It’s been a secret too long.”
Katie’s chest was as tight as if it had suddenly been strapped in steel bands. “I had already decided to talk to the Sorensons,” she said, though she still felt cornered, as if tracking hounds had been put on her trail and she had no place to run to, her back against the face of a sheer cliff. “But first I had to talk to Josh.”
“He didn’t know?”
She shook her head and felt beads of sweat collecting at her nape and forehead. “As I said, no one did. Whenever the subject of his father came up, I told him that the man was in my life for a very short period, then gone, that I didn’t know much about him anymore. I promised to tell him the whole story some day, but, for the most part, I hedged. I didn’t want Josh to hear things about a father who had left him before he was born, and I thought that if I kept the guy anonymous, and if there was no speculation, no gossip, it would be okay. Of course, that was a mistake. People talk and kids are cruel.” She swiped her bangs from her eyes. “You have to understand I was little more than a kid, myself. I’d been teased all my growing-up years because my mom was forever getting married and divorced. It seemed like everyone else’s family was stable, and mine was this…this chaotic mess.
“I know now that it wasn’t true. All families have their little secrets.” She laughed at the irony. “And of course I had no idea that the man who was supposed to be my father, wasn’t. My mom lied to me, too. I would have died if I’d guessed that I was the product of a…an illicit affair. That I would be called ‘illegitimate.’ It was bad enough as it was, and I was determined that I wouldn’t put my kid through the same kind of pain.”
She leaned a hip against the kitchen island and glanced out to the backyard where moonlight was casting the dry grass in soft shades of silver. “Anyway, of course it was probably worse for Josh to not tell him the truth, but I was young and convinced I was doing the right thing. The trouble with a lie is it feeds on itself and keeps growing. Any time the subject came up, I evaded the issue and told myself he was too young to understand. I thought there would be plenty of time. It wasn’t as if Dave had shown any interest in my possible pregnancy, anyway. But then you landed in town with the news that Dave was dead, and I…I couldn’t stand it. I knew I had to level with Josh. I finally talked with him a few days ago.”
“How did he take the news?”
“He was stunned. No. Horrified would probably be a better word. Then, once the disbelief subsided, he was angry—I mean, really angry with me.” She swallowed hard and reached into the cupboard for a glass. “Can’t say as I blame him. I was mad that my mom lied about who my father was, but at least I had the chance to meet him and decide for myself how much I wanted John Cawthorne in my life. Josh has no options. I took them away from him.” She flipped on the tap, filled her glass and drank to quench the dryness at the back of her throat.
“You did what you thought was best.” Luke’s voice was low, a balm.
“Yeah, and it blew up in my face.” She lifted her glass. “You want some?”
“Naw, I’m fine.” Getting to his feet, he went to her and wrapped solid arms around her torso. “You can’t beat yourself up for this.”
“Oh, no?” Turning to gaze up at him, she saw the sweet seduction in his eyes, heard his sharp intake of breath as her breasts brushed against his shirt.
“Nope.” His gaze slid down her face. “Besides, we have other problems.”
“Do we?”
“Mmm.” His arms tightened, holding her close, and she was pulled snugly to him, her breasts flattening against his chest, her hips pressed intimately to his. Gazing into her eyes, he lowered his head to hers. “This,” he said, his breath warm against her face, “is a much bigger issue.” His mouth slanted over hers, and her blood turned to fire.
So this was the way it would be with him, she realized. Each and every time they touched, passion would ignite. Her arms wound around his neck and he lifted her off her feet. When he started for the stairs, common sense ruled. “We can’t,” she whispered, struggling to get down. “Not with Josh here.”
Luke’s eyes were the color of midnight, but instead of releasing her, he carried her outside, across the moon-washed lawn and up the stairs to the carriage house. “If he wakes up, we’ll know,” he assured her as he kicked open the door and crossed the hardwood floor to the bedroom. He paused long enough to flip the lock behind him, then laid her on the bed and kissed her as if he would never stop.
* * *
