AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She stared at him, her eyes owlish. “I would not know where to begin with such an endeavor.”
“Annick,” he said, his voice rough. “Trust me when I say you don’t want to explore these things with me.”
“You are to be my husband, eh? Your big idea! So, we will eventually.”
“All right, then,” he said, forcing his voice into a neutral space, not allowing the red flame of rage he felt at the very idea to take hold. “Take another lover first.”
“Why?”
“I told you, you are too innocent.”
“Eh. Innocence.” She said it like something filthy. “The way that they define innocence. Yes? This... Virginity.” She laughed. “As if a man’s anatomy is the bringer of knowledge and corruption. Men. They think far too highly of themselves. I saw my parents murdered. That is what a man stole from me. I have not been innocent for a very long time.”
Her words struck at a strange place inside of him, and he found that the real reason he wanted to turn away was not the differences between them, but that common bond.
For he did not wish to discuss that. Not ever. Did not wish to face the darkness inside of them that might just match.
He was more comfortable alone.
For the kind of man he was, it was better. It was the only way.
And he knew full well that it wasn’t entirely for her benefit that he turned away. Yes, he needed to protect her. Because there was no point, no point at all in pretending that what he was doing was to keep her safe if he became the one to cause her harm. But there were things that were better left uncovered inside of him. And protecting her came hand in hand with protecting himself. At least, in this instance it did.
She had been made victim enough. She didn’t need to be exposed to the demons, to the darkness that she seemed to have the power to unleash inside of him.
There were any number of women who didn’t call to that thing, that creature that lived down in the deepest recesses of his fractured soul. But he could feel Annick scraping at the bonds of it.
And he wouldn’t do that to either of them.
He wasn’t a good man. But he worked at not embracing the monster.
And so, he would walk away now. It was the best thing. It was the only thing.
“When is your coronation?”
“We have a week. And then we will announce our engagement.”
“Good.”
“What does that mean? Good?”
“We have a goal. We have a plan.” He looked her over. “I would thank you not to go off script again.”
“Oh,” she said. “Are my virginal fumblings too much for you to resist? I can’t think why else you would need to warn me away so.”
“It’s for your own good. Trust me.”
A small smile curved her lips. “This is the problem. I do not trust anyone.”
And he left with the distinct feeling that he had not succeeded in gaining the upper hand.
* * *
He was avoiding her. It was an irritation. Ever since their kiss in the ballroom, he had made himself scarce.
They had conducted lessons of a kind, but often they involved other people. He had brought in a body language expert; he had brought in stylists. And from that point on she had been surrounded by women who had spoken to her about being her true self and other things that seemed somewhat ridiculous to her.
None of this was actually about being her true self. It was all strange lies, a rallying cry she could not get her head around.
