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Her words lashed against something inside of him that felt tender and bruised. And he hadn’t thought that he had the capacity to feel such a thing.
“You don’t know what you speak of,” he said. “You are protected. Even the betrayal that your father meted out to you was not one that might put you in peril or threaten your comfort in any way. He sold you to a king. That you might be exalted. You have no idea what I am fighting against. You have no idea what real suffering is. I have seen it. I have caused it. And I have to guard against ever causing it again. Do not give me your quick and easy sound bites, Violet King. I am not one of your internet followers. I am not impressed by quick, condensed versions of truth that are easy to digest. I have seen human suffering on a level that you cannot possibly understand. And I am related to the cause of it. If my life must be devoted to the undoing of it so that those in the future can simply live, then it must be. But don’t you ever accuse me of being afraid.”
And for the first time he saw her crumple. For the first time, he saw her bravery falter, and he hated himself for being the cause of that. He had plucked the woman from her office some weeks ago and taken her off to a land that she had never even heard of, and she had remained strong. She had remained stoic. She had an answer back for everything he had said. But not now. He had finally taken that from her. He had finally destroyed some of what she was.
And there was no joy to be had in that.
It was confirmation. Of what he was.
That spark of light she had placed in him was now extinguished in her.
She had said he was not a monster, but he knew that he was.
That he would destroy her only more as the years wore on.
He hurt people.
He had caused pain under the rule of his father, and under the rule of his own heart, he would cause Violet pain as well.
“If you think that’s what I meant, if you think that’s who I am, then you haven’t been paying attention at all. I thought that we knew each other. I thought that our souls recognized each other,” she said, her voice breaking. “You saw me reading the book... And I knew that you would be reading it too. I knew it. You know the library was the first place that I looked for you that night we first made love. Because somehow I knew you would be looking at the same story I was, trying to see if you saw us in there.”
“You misunderstand. I wasn’t looking for answers because I already have them. I understand that this was significant to you. That this was a first for you. But I have lived life. I have already had all the revelations I will have. Perhaps you can think of me as a lesson learned.”
“What an expensive lesson,” she said, her tone full of venom. “Wedding vows seem a little bit extreme.”
“As I told you, the wedding vows can remain.”
“Why would I stay married to you? If you don’t want to have a real marriage?”
He gritted his teeth, fought against the terror that clouded his chest at the idea of losing her. He liked much more the idea of being able to keep her while keeping her separate.
“Do what you must.”
He gathered his clothes and began to dress.
“Where are you going?”
“Out.”
“I would never have thought that you would transform yourself into a basic sort of man. But that is very basic. Just out. No explanation.”
“Because I don’t owe you an explanation. Because you got the explanation that you were going to get already. That you thought there was more is your problem, not mine.”
He gritted his teeth against the burning sensation in his chest and he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Closing the door on them. On temptation.
Whatever she did now was her choice.
But he had done his duty, for honor.
Whatever she said, that was why.
He ignored the kick in his chest that told him otherwise.
He ignored everything.
Because that was the real gift of having transformed himself into a beast.
