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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“YOUHAVEBECOMEa beast.”
Matteo looked up to see his brother standing in his office.
“I have always been,” he growled. “This is nothing new.”
“It seems remarkable to me.”
“Well, I know how I feel. There is nothing different.”
“Except that Livia left you devastated?”
He growled. “Do not speak her name to me.”
“You are truly going to let... You’re going to let your mouse leave you?”
“She wanted the one thing I cannot give, Javier. What would you have me do?”
“And that is?”
“Love.”
His brother laughed, hollow and flat. “All right. And this is the part where I remember you telling me to pursue the love of Violet, all while telling me why you cannot feel it. I should, but you cannot.”
“I am the King, and I can’t...”
“Your bitterness is hardly helping you with your powers as a ruler, my dear brother. And I am only telling you this because it is honest. You love this woman. You do. You are trying to pretend that you don’t, you are throwing every barrier in humanity in front of it. But you have loved her for the better part of nine years, and anyone around you could recognize it. But you cannot.”
“No,” Matteo said. “Love is...”
“A weakness? I know you think this for yourself, but what I don’t understand is why. Our father had no love in his heart.”
“It allows for vulnerabilities. Too many gray areas.”
“You’re afraid. And you had no trouble telling me that. No trouble telling me that perhaps love is worth trying since it is the one thing our father certainly never made an attempt at.”
“But I loved him,” Matteo said. “And he cut my skin open. I loved him, and he was a monster. I do not trust my own heart.”
Love. Love was the cruelest, most dangerous thing of all. And he knew it. He knew.
“And here we come to it,” Javier said. “You’re just like me. Just the same as me. And don’t give me anything about how you’re the King. It makes no difference. You and I are the same. Desperately afraid of trusting our own hearts.”
“But you didn’t know he was a monster. I did, and still...”
“The bastard did wrong by us. There is no getting around it. No denying it. What we endured, it was not a normal childhood. He tried to destroy us. Do not let him. We never had the chance of growing up without scars. That much is true. How could we not? But we can decide what we are now. Look at Livia. Look at what she’s become. From where she started... You’re a king, Matteo. If she can overcome in such a way, surely you can too.”
“No,” Matteo said. “She is better than I am.”
“And Violet is better than I am. There is a gift in loving a woman who is that strong. Who is that certain.”
“I am miserable.”
“So stop.”
“How can it be so simple?”
“It is that simple and that difficult. You have been trained to live on an island. You have been trained to let your soul be a wasteland. To not allow for anything to touch you. For anyone. And you have decided that all emotion is a weakness. But think of how much strength it takes Livia to love you.”
