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CHAPTER TEN
ITWASTORTUROUS, working while here on the island. He didn’t often do it. But it was the perfect vehicle by which to avoid Morgan, which was what he was doing at the moment.
Coward.
Perhaps.
But he had just told her that he might not claim the children.
Guilt ate at him. Because he wondered if she was right, and he rarely wondered if anyone but himself was right. If perhaps he had never considered himself a coward.
Not in the years since his kidnapping.
He had been weak then, and he had gone out of his way to never be in the years since.
He laughed at himself now.
He made his way down the stairs, and he smelled something phenomenal.
But what he saw when he made his way down to the landing was more exciting than the prospect of dinner. It was Morgan, standing by a set table that was surrounded by lush gardens, partly concealed. She was wearing a blue dress that hugged her curves, her red hair flowing freely. Her pale shoulders were exposed, and he felt a strong urge to count the freckles on them. To memorize her body. To make her his.
“What is all this?” he asked as he stepped outside.
“I thought that I would... Make us dinner. It’s been a long couple of days. And we’re here. On a private island. And there’s nothing... There’s nothing but you and me, Constantine. We called our parents. We did our duty. We...had the wedding. And now we’re here. I am not your brother’s girlfriend. And you are not my boyfriend’s disapproving older brother. You are Constantine, and I’m Morgan. And maybe we need a moment to figure out what that means.”
And he wanted that, he realized. Wanted to take that moment where it was only the two of them and exist in it. Put down the trauma from the past and let the memories recede into nothing. What if she was just a woman, a beautiful woman that he wanted. Standing there. Everything he’d ever desired. And he never gave in to temptation. It wasn’t who he was.
But right then, he did.
He let her words paint a picture of a fantasy that he knew couldn’t exist, and never would.
“You cooked?”
“There was some lovely steak, and beautiful vegetables, and I’ve had to cook for myself for a long time. I know my way around the kitchen, though I have to say yours is glorious.”
“I do not cook,” he said. “I didn’t realize the kitchen was particularly glorious.”
“What is the point of it,” she asked, a funny little smile on her face. “Having so many glorious things when you don’t even know how glorious they are?”
In spite of himself, he felt his mouth kick upward into a smile. He crossed the space where she was and held her chair out for her. “Why don’t you have a seat.”
“All right.”
The sky was low in the sky, and the pink light of it setting over the water suffused the air around them. Warm and close and intoxicating. The scent of flowers hung in the air, or maybe it was just her.
And he felt like he was under her spell for a moment. And he was not a man who had ever believed in such things.
She was right. He was surrounded by fantasy at all times. His mother’s ridiculous fairy room, and all of the opulence they indulged themselves in. And yet he didn’t... He didn’t allow himself those moments. He did not allow himself fantasy.
So perhaps for just this moment.
Perhaps. All of his seriousness had not protected Alex, after all.
He had thought that it would. He had changed after the loss of Athena, and he had been certain he could keep harm from ever befalling his family again. But he hadn’t managed it. Not with all of his determination and all of his strength, so what then did he think the result would be now?
The world was cruel.
And because of that cruelty he had not even allowed himself a moment to look at the beauty. Until her. He had looked at her and he had been unable to stop.
