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Chapter Twenty-Six
Jasper smoothed out the blanket on the grass under one of the ancient live-oak trees in the park and put the cooler of food he’d brought on one corner to keep the blanket from flying away. The gnarled branches of the oak touched the ground on one side, offering the picnic spot some semblance of privacy, but the other side was open to a wide green space where kids were playing and couples were lounging.
Jasper should’ve been in a great mood. He didn’t have to work today. The sky was bright blue, and the temperatures weren’t death-by-humidity hot. He had investors interested in his theater. He should’ve been running around in joy like those kids. But instead, he couldn’t shake the ominous sense of dread that had been hovering over him since his talk with Fitz.
He hadn’t seen Hollyn in days, and part of him was desperate to see her smiling face. But the other part of him just felt like a fraud. So when he saw the sunlight catch a mane of gold curls in the distance, he had equal parts excitement and trepidation crashing together inside him.
He lifted a hand in greeting as Hollyn got closer, and she caught sight of him, a smile lighting her face as she waved back. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked his way. She was wearing a red sundress that fluttered around her legs in the breeze, and her hair was blowing wild. A sharp stab of longing hit him in the chest. The woman was beautiful. And interesting. And funny. And for a minute, she’d been his. He’d written his name on her skin.
But that marker had washed off by now, as had the shine on this arrangement.
After today, he’d never get to touch her that way again.
Hollyn ducked under a tree branch and met him at the edge of the blanket, smiling. “Hey, you.”
“Hey.” Jasper didn’t know what to do. He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to pick her up off her feet, wrap her legs around him, and kiss her until they were both dizzy from lack of breath. He leaned in for a hug instead.
She wrapped her arms around him, smelling like sunshine and Hollyn, and gave him a tight squeeze. “Long time no see.”
He released her and stepped back so he wouldn’t be tempted to go in for the kiss. “Yeah, it’s been crazy. Did you have a good time with Cal?”
Her cheek and nose twitched, and a flash of something flickered in her eyes. “Yeah, it was good seeing him.”
His stomach sank. He didn’t know how he knew, but he could feel the shift in her, the shields. Cal had told her about his feelings. Cal had told her he loved her, and she wasn’t telling Jasper about it. He should’ve been happy. That would make breaking this off easier. But he felt like punching something instead. “Great.”
Hollyn bit her lip and rocked back on her heels, the weird quiet between them growing. “Um, so a picnic, huh?”
Jasper snapped out of his frozen state and motioned at the cooler. “Yeah, I picked up a muffuletta and a few other things. I thought it’d be nice to get outside.”
And not have a private conversation in the confines of a restaurant.
“Cool.” She looked to the cooler and then back to him, her fingers tapping a pattern against her thigh. “Why does this feel so awkward?”
The words popped a pin in him, his breath sagging out. He raked a hand through his hair. “Sorry. That’s my fault. I have a lot on my mind.”
She frowned and then lowered herself to the ground and patted a spot on the blanket. “Wanna share?”
He nodded and sat down across from her, trying to find the right words. He needed to pitch her on his idea of being the show’s guest, make it sound completely doable and beneficial for them both. He needed to convince her this was the best way to go for both of their careers. He needed to tell her that it was best that they end the physical part of their arrangement. “Hollyn…”
“Yeah?” Hollyn shifted into a cross-legged position, gathering her dress between her thighs. The faded flourish from his signature peeked out and he couldn’t take his eyes off it. Flashbacks of the morning in her bedroom came to him in a rush, the way she’d felt beneath him, the way she’d looked back at him, the things he’d felt deep in his chest.
Things that didn’t feel false at all. Things that suddenly felt very, very real and not faded in the least.Shit.
He closed his eyes. The show. He needed to ask her about the show.
“I know Cal’s in love with you,” he blurted out instead. He opened his eyes, surprised at the words that had come out of his mouth.
Hollyn’s lips were parted, her expression blank. “What?”
Jasper wet his lips. “He told me that night after you went to bed. He was drunk, but he told me. And so I know… I know that you’re probably here to tell me that we need to end this thing between us because you’re going to date Cal and you love him, and I just need you to know that…I get it. Obviously. I mean. I understand.”
She frowned, lines bracketing her mouth. “You understand what exactly?”
“That this thing with us was just temporary and for a particular purpose and that of course you want to be with Cal. You guys have been friends forever. He’s obviously good to you. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me explanations or whatever. We were just helping each other out.”
Her eyes narrowed, and her tone was careful when she spoke again. “Helping each other out.”
“Right. And I just wanted you to know that I wish you both well.” The words stabbed at him like a rusty knife. “I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to lie to me about it. I want you to be happy. If what we were doing helped you find the guy you were meant to be with, then… I guess the relationship practice was a success, right?”
