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Chapter Thirty-Two
Hollyn stared down at her phone again, the words on the screen sending a chill straight down to her bone marrow.
Jasper: Missed my flight. Phone running out of charge and no charger. I don’t know if I’m going to make it there in time. Trying everything I can. I’m
Hollyn had gotten the incomplete message a couple of hours ago. She’d read it again and again, hoping she’d read the words wrong, but they were the same on the second and third and hundredth time.Missed my flight?How the hell had he let that happen? He knew she was counting on him, knew his group needed him there. But maybe after his big audition, that didn’t seem so important anymore.Oops. Sorry. Can’t make it.Irritation had flooded her. She’d tried to text Jasper back and call him, but his phone had apparently died mid-message.
He might not make it on time. I might have to go onstage without him.Those realities were flying around her head like belfry bats, setting off all her deepest anxieties.
Hollyn sat on a box in the storage room of the Shifty Lizard, trying not to have a meltdown. The show was supposed to start in thirty minutes. The bar was already packed, the sound of the crowd rumbling through the walls. The rest of the Hail Yes group had already come into the storage room to change and were outside getting some air before the show. Everyone seemed excited. But no one had realized yet that Jasper being late wasn’t “normal last-minute Jasper” and was possibly a “Jasper’s not coming” disaster. The rest of the group was under the impression that he hadn’t been able to be at rehearsal for the last few days because he had to take care of something for his family.
Hollyn breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to calm herself. Fitz poked his head into the room. He smiled when he saw her. “Hey, there. Ready for your big debut, Miz Poppy?”
“If feeling like I’m going to throw up and pass out is ready, then yes?”
He chuckled and stepped inside, letting the door shut behind him “We’ve got a packed house and all three investors are here, looking impressed with the crowd so far. You need anything?”
“Jasper would be nice,” she blurted out, immediately regretting the slip.
Fitz frowned. “He’s not here yet? That dude needs to learn the concept of cushion time.”
She looked up, pulling her knees up onto the box with her and hugging them. Her nose scrunched a few times. “No, he’s not here. Like in the state.”
“What?” Fitz looked back toward the door as if he was expecting Jasper to appear. “He was supposed to have an early flight in.”
Jasper had confided what was happening to Fitz, though not how likely it was that he was going to get the part. Fitz had just spun it as another opportunity. If Jasper got the part, he could use his fame from the new show to promote the theater they’d all invest in. Fitz wasn’t successful for no reason. The guy always had an angle.
“He sent me a text earlier that he missed his original flight,” she said, sharing the confession with someone else making her feel a little less alone. “He wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. I haven’t heard from his since.”
“Shit, Jasper.” Fitz ran a hand over his head and then squatted down to her level. “Hey, you know you’ve got this either way, right?”
She shook her head, her cheek tic going crazy. “I don’t know. I’ve never been onstage live. I’ve had nightmares that start like this. I’m about three seconds from bolting out the back door if you really want to know.”
“Don’t do that. Not to put more pressure on you, but you being here is what’s brought this crowd. This is going to help your career, but it’s also going to help the group and Jasper. You’re part of this team.”
She inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m going to blow it for everybody—including myself. I can feel the panic attack coming. I can’t do this. Jasper was supposed to back me up if I froze. That was the only reason I agreed to this.”
Fitz gave her a football coach look. The I-don’t-want-your-excuses look. “Hey, I want Jasper here, too. Believe me. That’s who the investors want to see most, but this entire group is talented as hell. They’ll back you up. And they all want this theater thing to happen so they’re going to be on top of their game. Y’all are on a team together, and you’retheMiz Poppy. People just want to meet you.” He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, grounding her.
“There’s no need to panic. You’re not here to impress the crowd with your improv skills. You’ve already impressed them with your writing. You don’t need Jasper to carry you through this. He has nothing to do with Miz Poppy.You’vecreated that business. Now you get to own it. Grab on to that shit and be proud of it. Don’t let the nerves steal that from you.”
Own it. Be proud of it.The words wound through her like a shot of adrenaline. She didn’t want this taken from her. Her anxiety had already stolen so much from her in her life. The Miz Poppy businesswashers. If she walked out, she risked giving up what she’d worked so hard to create for herself. She wasn’t going to let the NOLA Vibe steal her name, this thing she’d made. Miz Poppy wasn’t a separate person. She wasn’t her cooler, more interesting twin.Hollynwas that person. No one else could step in and do it better. Her shyness was just a layer that made it harder to see the real parts of her. It didn’t make them any less real. She needed to go out there, be the person she was, tics and awkwardness and all and own it. “I am Miz Poppy.”
Fitz patted her shoulder and rocked back on his heels. “Damn straight you are. Say it again.”
“I amMiz. Fucking. Poppy.”
He laughed and got up from his crouch. “There you go. You got this.”
She stood and gave him a hug. Her body was still trembling with nerves, but the determination stirring deep within her was starting to take over. “Thanks. I think I’m tired of needing pep talks. I’m designating you the last one I’m going to need.”
“I’m honored.” He stepped back and held up his fist for a fist bump. “I’ll see you out there. Make me some money.”
She laughed and bumped his fist. “Eye always on the bottom line, huh?”
“Always.” He gave her one last grin and then headed out.
When she was alone again, she vowed to stop looking at her phone and hoping to see Jasper’s name. He had made a promise to her that he’d be here, and he’d broken it. He’d been right. She deserved better than that. She turned off the phone and dropped it into her bag. She was going to have to do this without him. It would be good practice.
