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She gave him a droll look. “That is a bullshit statement. No one likes to be embarrassed.”
“I didn’t say we have tolikeit. I said it can be freeing. Think about how it feels to hang out with your friends or family who you can be completely yourself around. People you don’t have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of. Do you have anyone like that you can think of?”
She shifted her weight from foot to foot, her body still wanting to run out of there. “My friend Cal. We’ve known each other since we were kids, and…he has Tourette’s, too.”
Jasper nodded. “Okay, good. Think of how you feel when you’re hanging out with Cal, how relaxed that feeling is.”
She took a breath, trying to channel that Cal-comfort sensation and nodded. “All right.”
“Now, imagine,” he said, spreading his hands out and indicating the room around them, “that you could feel that comfortable in front of a roomful of strangers.”
Her stomach dipped. “That’s impossible.”
“I promise it’s not,” he said, lowering his arms to his sides. “Of course the audience isn’t our best friend who we’re going to share our deepest thoughts or feelings with. The people who come to my shows don’t get to know me on a personal level, but theyarefellow humans who have all experienced embarrassing situations or awkwardness or looking like a fool at some point in their lives. If I mess up, they laugh along with me. Theywantme to mess up. Think about how much everyone likes the outtakes at the end of movies.”
She crossed her arms. “That seems kind of mean for the audience to root for mistakes.”
“But it’s not. It takes the pressure off the performers. Sure, the audience wants a good improv show. But I know if I fumble something, I’m giving them some of what they want, too,” he said. “And knowing that lifts a lot of the stress. I get rewarded for looking like an idiot.”
She gave him a skeptical look.
He leaned forward conspiratorially. “If you embarrass yourself tonight, I’ll reward you, too. Very handsomely.”
Her heartbeat quickened at his nearness and the words. “With what?”
He lifted a finger indicating that she should give him a second and then headed to the front where he’d left his bag. He dug inside and then turned to her. He lifted both his hands, each holding a bag of candy. “Pick your poison—Skittles or M&M’s?”
She laughed. “You’re baiting me with candy? What am I? A toddler?”
He waggled his eyebrows and jiggled the bags of candy. “You know you want it.”
She wanted something all right. The hot actor. She groaned. “Okay, I do love a Skittle. But no grape ones.”
He tossed the M&M’s back into his bag and grinned as he walked her way. “Okay, Eddie Van Halen, all purple Skittles will be removed.”
She sighed. “You’re pretty good at the hard sell, Jasper Deares.”
“Have I convinced you not to run out on me?”
She glanced at the door once more and then nodded. “For now.”
“I’ll take it. Come on. I’ll strike while I’ve still got you under my magical Skittle spell.” He put his hand out and she reluctantly took it. She didn’t know if he realized how physical he was. To her, it felt like an intimacy—one she didn’t mind—but she had to remind herself that Jasper was in comedy. Improv, from what she’d seen on television, was inherently physical. He probably didn’t even notice how much he touched her. He led her over to the line of chairs and dragged two out. He released her hand and turned the chairs back-to-back. “Here. Have a seat, Hollyn Darling.”
She sat but kept her eyes on him. “What are we doing?”
He stepped around her and sat in the other chair, putting his back to her. “We’re going to tell each other embarrassing stories or things about ourselves. It’s easier if you don’t have to look at the person.”
She turned her head to look back at him. “Oh, hell no. This sounds like a terrible idea. Can’t we just do anotherDear Jasperletter?”
He turned, which brought his face close enough for her to see his dark, thick eyelashes behind his glasses. She lost her train of thought for a moment and could feel her tics giving him a show. His expression softened. “Trust me. This will help us get to know each other, and the more we know of each other, the more comfortable you’ll feel. You’re not the kind of person who’s going to be able to let go with a stranger. At least not yet. You need to know some of my secrets and vice versa. Build a circle of trust so that your stranger alarm system doesn’t go off when we start playing the games.”
She stared at him for a moment and then closed her eyes, unable to counter his argument. “Fine.”
“Great. I’ll go first,” he said.
They turned back-to-back again, and she stared at the windows on the other side of the room, wishing she could climb right out of this situation.
He cleared his throat. “I once was out of clean laundry, so I went to a performance commando. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal, but when me and another guy in our group got into this mock fight scene, my pants ripped and I ended up mooning the audience.”
