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“Sure you can. You—”
“No.” She looked over at him, voice tired. “I can’t do thiswith you.”
He frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means—” She shook her head. “Never mind. I’ve got to go.”
She turned to walk out, but he jogged over to her, grabbing her elbow before she could take another step. “Hold up. Don’t leave yet. Tell me. What does that mean?”
Her eyes were shiny, her frustration all over her face. “It means I’m pathetic. It means I haven’t learned my lesson from underneath that oak tree. I’m still that girl who wants the popular boy to kiss her. Only this time, I forced the issue even knowing outright that he’s not interested.”
Jasper’s lips parted, the confession knocking him backward. Shewantedhim to kiss her? “Hollyn, I…”
“Please let go,” she whispered. “Please don’t make this more humiliating than it already is.”
He released her elbow, and she spun and took a step toward the door.
“I kissed you back,” he blurted out.
She paused, her back still to him. “What?”
“What I said about the stage-kiss thing was a lie. You don’t use tongue in a stage kiss.” He wet his lips. “I kissed you back. I wanted to.”
“Jasper, you don’t have to pretend—”
“I’m not. Jesus. I’m notthatgood of an actor.”
She turned around, a confused wrinkle between her brows, her cheek twitching.
He let out a sigh and raked a hand through his hair. “Look, Hollyn, no bullshit, all right? I like you. As a person. As a writer. I think we could be good friends.”
She winced.
“I’m not finished,” he said, tone grim. “I like you as a person, but I also had exceptionally not-safe-for-work thoughts about you when you feigned that orgasm, and it only got worse when you kissed me. If you had looked down before I climbed off of you, you would’ve seen exactly how it affected me.”
Her eyebrows shot up.
“But it’s an epically bad idea for us to get involved that way,” he said, forcing the words out when all he really wanted to do was haul her up against the nearest wall and kiss her until they were both dizzy. “I wasn’t lying. I’m fresh from a breakup. My life is basically in shambles at the moment. And the last thing I need to do is drag someone into that with me. I’m not in a place to date anyone. I need to put everything I have into getting this theater thing to work. If I let anything physical happen between us, I’d just be using you, and I don’t want to do that. You deserve so much more than that.”
Hollyn was staring at him. Her neck was flushed, and her throat worked as she swallowed. “I see. So you’d just be using me for sex because you’re attracted to me but wouldn’t actually be interested in dating me?”
He grimaced. “Damn, it sounds even worse when you say it back to me.”
“No, I appreciate your honesty,” she said, voice strangely calm. She gave him a long look and then adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “Let’s do another lesson tomorrow night.”
The offer threw him a little. “Great. Yeah. Okay. We can… Oh, wait, no, we can’t. I don’t have the room reserved tomorrow.”
“Oh.” She frowned.
“We could use Fitz’s place,” he said without thinking.
“Fitz’s place.” She cocked a brow. “Isn’t thatyourplace?”
He cringed. God, he was making a mess of this. Tell a woman you want her but really just for the sex, not an actual relationship, and then invite her over to your place.And the creepy douchebag award goes to…“I mean, yes, technically, it’s where I’m living. But I didn’t mean it like how it sounded. Fitz has a huge apartment. There’s open space in the living room that would work. I’m sure Fitz will be there, too. I can order pizza.”
Hollyn gave him a considering look, her nose twitching a little.
Jasper couldn’t get a read on her. He was happy she hadn’t slapped him. He was even happier that she didn’t want to quit their arrangement. But something had shifted in her. Maybe having it all out in the open and clearing the air took some of the awkwardness away. They were attracted to each other. Acting on it was a bad idea. Okay, done.Moving right along, nothing to see here.
She shifted on her feet. “Uh, sure. I guess that could work.”
He let out a breath. “Okay, great. It’s a—Nota date.”
“Right.” She smiled. “Glad we got this cleared up.”
“Me too?” he said, hearing the lack of certainty in his own voice. He wasn’t sure what they’d cleared up. Things felt messier than ever.
She lifted a hand. “See you tomorrow.”
And with that, she turned on her heel and strode out, leaving him to wonder how the hell their lesson had ended like this.
