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He smiled a melt-her-panties-off smile. “No, we cannot.” He traced a finger over her twitching cheek. “That was the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. You came from me touching you over your clothes. I think we both get sex merit badges for that or something. That’s like a survive-the-apocalypse skill. We could get off while running from the zombies without ever having to take our clothes off. Go, us.”
She snort-laughed. “You’re seriously bent.”
His smile went even wider. “I can’t wait to see what happens when you actually get to see me naked.”
She groaned and then shoved him. “Narcissist.”
“Hey, I just made a woman come from a kiss. This is life news. I’m apparently a sexual dynamo. A gift to women, really. Who knew?”
“Hey.” She poked his shoulder. “OnlyIget the badge. You didn’t actually come. Slacker.”
“Oh, is that the requirement?” He crowded her against the edge of the counter again and braced an arm on each side of her, caging her in, a wicked grin on his face. “Don’t worry. I will later.” He gave her an up-and-down once-over. “All I’ll need to do is think about the look you just had on your face, and I’ll be good to go.”
Her smile fell, and she licked her lips at the image of Jasper touching himself while thinking of her. Her arms were trapped between their bodies. She boldly brushed her knuckles against the length of his erection. “I might be able to help with things.”
Jasper let out a soft groan and gave her a heated look, no more humor there. “I want to say yes to that more than I can possibly describe, but I don’t want to fuck this up by rushing. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret that we moved too fast. We have time. Plus, you want to learn about dating, right?”
She swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“Well, lesson one: Don’t date a guy who requires a tit-for-tat even orgasm exchange. This isn’t a bank transaction, and an orgasm isn’t a favor. Find a guy who thinks making a woman come is its own reward.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “That was crazy hot. You don’t owe me a thing.”
The words only made her want to touch him more. “I wasn’t offering out of obligation. But”—she sighed heavily—“maybe you’re right. I don’t want this to be a close-my-eyes-and-jump-off-a-cliff thing. If I rush it, my panic might kick in and send me into hiding.”
He dipped down to brush his lips over hers. “Slow and deliberate then,” he said, voice low. “I can definitely get on board with being slow and very, very deliberate with you.”
A hot shiver worked its way through her. The thought of Jasper slowly and deliberately kissing down her body had her heartbeat quickening again. She put her hands to his chest and gently pushed. “We better get to work or I can’t be held responsible for what happens next.”
He stepped back with a smile. “I know. I’m sorry I’m so irresistible. It’s a burden.”
She grabbed a napkin from the counter, balled it up, and launched it at him. “Literally, the worst.”
He caught the paper missile in the air and his smile softened.
She shifted to walk past him.
“Hey,” he said, halting her.
She met his gaze. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
She tilted her head. “For what?”
“The trust.” He hooked his thumbs in his pockets like he was resisting reaching out for her again. “All joking aside, I know this was a big, fucking brave thing you did—asking to do this. So thank you for thinking I’m worthy of your trust. It’s rare that anyone throws that kind of thing my way.”
She frowned.
“I know it’s hard to believe.” He gave a self-deprecating smirk. “But people seem to think of me as flighty and self-involved. Only half-true, obviously.”
He had a teasing tone but the words sent a pang through her. “Jasper…”
“But I want you to know,” he said, gaze serious, “you can be whoever you really are with me. No judgments, no fake bullshit, no games. Just like in the improv scenes, I want you to know you’re safe. If you’re scared, tell me. If something isn’t working, tell me. If I’m doing something wrong, tell me. I’ve got you.”
The words were exactly what she didn’t know she needed to hear. Something unlocked inside her, letting her take a deep breath. They were going to try this unconventional experiment, and it would be okay. Jasper wasn’t going to make fun of her or talk shit about her to his bros. He wasn’t going to pretend to be interested, only to show up with a rodent beneath a tree.
“Thank you.” She stepped closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. “Your dirty talk is on point, Jasper Deares.”
He laughed and gave her an illicit look. “Oh, you have no idea, Hollyn Darling.”
They grabbed the boxes of pizza and moved to the living room. For the rest of the night, they worked on improv scenes, and Hollyn forgot to be nervous. She forgot to apologize for her awkwardness. She forgot to be self-conscious about her tics. For those few hours, she forgot about everything except the fact that, at least for a little while, she could have fun and be fully herself with a guy she liked.
Normal.
Free.
