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Her shoulders seemed to sag in shared relief. “I don’t know what to do with this…this attraction thing. Friends with benefits sounds like such a cliché, and I don’t even know that I won’t freak out if you did kiss me, but…”
“But what?” he asked, voice quiet, heartbeat loud.
She gave him a helpless look. “But I still want to kiss you.”
The words were so honest and raw, so familiar to him. He knew what that feeling was—wanting something but not knowing if you were capable of having it without your demons getting in the way. He fought those wars, too.
“Maybe it doesn’t have to be so complicated or defined,” he said, the words tumbling out.
“Maybe.” She wet her lips, and he found himself transfixed as she pushed away from the counter and stepped closer. “Maybe it could be two people in a weird place who could keep each other company until they find their way out of it?”
Hill swallowed hard and stepped around the island, stopping an arm’s length away from her. “I’d like that.”
He watched as Andi’s throat worked. She was nervous as hell, but there was a determined look in her eyes. She moved into his space and put her hands on his waist. “I think I can work with that.”
Hill gave in to the urge to touch her and gently cupped the back of her neck. He felt like he was holding a robin’s egg in his palm—something beautiful and special but fragile. He wanted to kiss Andi so badly he ached, but he also sensed if he made one wrong move, he’d crush the egg in his fist. He needed her to be clear. “Tell me what you’re asking for.”
Her hands were resting lightly on his hips, and her fingers twitched against him. “I need something fun and light with no pressure of any kind. Taking it slow with someone I can feel safe with. A friend. That I can watch movies and cook with but also maybe kiss and touch sometimes.” She met his gaze. “And honestly, I don’t know if it would move beyond that. I need you to know that. This is basically going to be…an experiment. I may freak out sometimes. Will probably freak out sometimes.”
“Experimenting.” Enticing images flooded his mind, and he traced his thumb in the tender spot behind her ear. “That sounds kind of amazing.”
“Really?” Her gaze widened, and he almost laughed at her surprise.
“Why do you look so shocked?”
“Because most guys are down for a hookup or even friends with benefits, but that’s because jumping in bed is implied. I’m telling you I may not get to that point. I’m telling you I’ll probably panic sometimes and flat-out reject you.”
He released a breath. “Then most guys are dicks. Andi, someone hurt you and violated your trust. You’re dealing with the aftermath of that.”
She closed her eyes.
“You don’t owe me anything,” he went on. “A kiss can just be a kiss. A touch can just be a touch. I understand it’s not a promise or an invitation for more than that. I understand the word ‘no.’ I understand the concept of slow. Have you seen me walk? I’m a goddamned master at slow.”
She finally opened her eyes and smiled at that.
“Plus,” he said, “kissing, touching, making out like teenagers—those things can feel pretty fucking good all on their own.”
She bit her lip and nodded. “They can.”
“I miss those things,” he admitted, revealing probably more than he should. That he hadn’t kissed anyone since Christina. “It’s been a while.”
“Me too,” she said softly.
He searched her expression. “So, are we doing this, then?”
Resolve came over her expression.
“Yeah, we’re doing this.” Her hands went to the front of his shirt, and then she pushed up on her toes like last night, only this time her lips landed against his mouth. She pressed her lips gently to his. He closed his eyes.
The kiss was sweet and soft, tentative. He kept his hand on her neck, feeling the quickening of her pulse and letting the pleasure of the contact suffuse through him. It’d been forever since he’d experienced that first blush of attraction with someone when everything was new. And it’d been so long since he’d been touched that even the simple kiss threatened to make him hard and hot.
Luckily, she pulled back before he embarrassed himself. She looked up at him, her lips shiny, and she smiled a triumphant smile. “I kissed you.”
He laughed under his breath. “I’m well aware. Every part of me is aware, I think.”
“And I didn’t freak out.” She tipped her chin up, clearly pleased, and patted his chest. “Go, me.”
“Gold star.” He pressed his thumb gently to her forehead like he had a sticker to award her.
