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She closed her eyes, letting those words roll over her. “You did.” She turned her head and looked at him. “And I appreciate that, but I also am not going to let you tell me how I feel. I don’t feel close to you because you’re first. I feel close to you because you’re you. But I can respect that you don’t want more than what we have going right now. I know I’m trying to change the rules of the agreement we made.”
He reached out and cupped her face. “I don’t want to end this yet, but I understand if you do.”
She stared at him for a long second, considering the possibility of walking away right now, of saving herself a heartbreak, of giving this a clean ending. But she couldn’t form the words. She wasn’t ready to walk away yet, and she knew she wasn’t ready to go out into the dating world at large. If he was her practice guy, then she definitely needed a lot more practice. “I’m not ready to turn in my season pass yet.”
Relief crossed his face and he smiled. “Thank God.”
She shifted her body and straddled his waist. “But be careful. You better not fall for me. Keep spending time with me, and you’ll find out I’m pretty fucking awesome.”
Hill smiled but his eyes remained solemn. “I already know that. I’ve known it from the start.”
***
Hell.Andi didn’t know how on the mark she was. Looking up at her, brazenly naked, her red hair falling around her face, that knowing smirk on her lips… Hill was already sunk. He’d realized it when he’d walked out of Christina’s office. He’d been falling for his neighbor since that first night he’d rushed over to her place. But he’d been telling himself a story again.
Andi was on a path to her own healing, and he was just a step along the way. It may take her a while to realize it, but he didn’t want to say yes to dating and then have her look up one day and realize she’d settled for the first guy who hadn’t treated her like shit. He didn’t want to be the default choice. He didn’t want to worry that she’d walk away like Christina had when she found a guy who really lit her up.
He needed to focus on what he could offer her—a friendship and a good time in bed. He slid his hands up her thighs and to her waist. “When do you need me to leave so you can get some writing done?”
She snorted, making the silver ring in her nose glint. “An hour ago.”
“Well, if you’re already late…”
She leaned over and braced her hands on his shoulders, putting her breasts enticingly close to his mouth. “Good thing I’m my own boss.”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss between her breasts, loving the way she shivered. “Someone definitely deserves a personal day—and a personal night.”
Andi shifted down his body, pulling the sheets with her and straddling his upper thighs. “I can grant you the afternoon, but I’m having girls’ movie night tonight.” She dragged a finger over his quickly stiffening cock. “No penises allowed. And you, my friend, definitely have one of those.”
He groaned at the barely there touch, already starved for her again. “Guess we’ll have to make good use of our time then.”
“Yes, yes we should.” She arched a brow at him. “And this time, I need you to stay just like this. If you’re my practice guy, I’m ready to get some practice in.”
His blood heated at the seductive warning in her voice. Andi’s confidence in bed was growing. It was a sight to behold. “I’m all yours, neighbor.”
“Keep your hands at your sides. For now.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he drawled.
She looked at him from beneath her lashes, and he watched intently as she lowered her head and licked across the tip of his cock. Electric awareness radiated outward from the point of contact. He ached to reach out for her, but he wasn’t going to break her rule, so he kept his arms against the bed.
Andi held the eye contact, bold and brazen, as she took more of him into her mouth, the hot, wet heat of it making every muscle in his body tense with arousal. He couldn’t stop watching her watch him, the connection wildly intense and so fucking erotic that he could barely keep still. This woman was smart and talented and funny, but goddamn, he wouldn’t have suspected that bubbly persona hid a siren.
He hated knowing that all these years, she’d had to bottle up that part of herself, that someone had hurt her so completely that she couldn’t allow anyone to touch her but herself. He wanted to give her ten years’ worth of pleasure to make up for it.
Andi lifted her head, releasing him with a soft pop, and then she shifted lower, pulling the sheet with her. Hill tensed when she shoved the covers all the way off, leaving him fully exposed. His heartbeat picked up speed, anxiety creeping in. He’d gotten comfortable enough with Andi to take off his prosthesis when they were in bed, but he’d kept the lights low, and the covers draped in certain ways. “Andi…”
“Please,” she said softly, her gaze tender. “Let me touch and explore you everywhere.”
He closed his eyes, inhaled, exhaled. He could feel his cock softening.
She kissed his thigh. “Trust me, Hill. I think every part of you is sexy.” She pressed her lips to the spot right above the sock that covered his residual limb. “I’m not the only one who needs practice.”
He opened his eyes at that, found her looking up at him. “Andi, it’s hard…”
Her expression softened with empathy. “That’s what we do, Hill. The hard things. I know what that pit in your stomach feels like. I felt it the first time you braced yourself over me. But then you made me feel good and safe, and the fear started to fade.” She licked her lips. “You don’t need to be scared of me.”
“I’m not,” he said, honesty slipping past his lips. “I just… I like the way you look at me. Like you want me. Like I turn you on. I can’t stand the thought of you looking at me with pity.”
