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“Please, do not force yourself to speak, Your Grace.”
Your Grace!? Do not call me that!
Before Jeremy could say anything, she was gone. She hurried off so fast through the dancers and toward the other edge of the floor that he could not follow. He stood there, perfectly still, with his feet planted into the floorboards.
His heart thudded hard in his chest, and he felt a little sick. The guilt and the regret swathed within him.
A sudden hand jerked his arm and pulled him off the dancefloor. He looked up to see Stephen’s eyes beside him.
“Care to tell me what you have done now?” Stephen asked. “What did you say to her?”
“Nothing. That was the problem,” Jeremy spoke quickly, murmuring in Stephen’s ear as he tugged him away from the floor.
“What does that mean?”
“She said her heart was mine.” Jeremy stumbled to a stop and looked back round, trying to see where Sophia had gone. He couldn’t be sure, but a door opened and closed at the far end of the ballroom. It was just possible it was opened by her as she escaped to the garden.
“Let me understand this. A woman you love told you she loved you, and you said nothing at all?” Stephen asked in amazement, tapping Jeremy on the arm so that he flicked his head back round. “Do you need me to point out what a fool you are, or have you recognized it for yourself? Jeremy, Sophia is not the last woman you loved!”
I know she isn’t. Sophia is completely different. She meant those words, and I was so startled, reminded of the past and dumbstruck, that I stood there like a fool and said nothing at all.
“I know.” Jeremy’s words were deep as he turned his attention to the door across the ballroom. “God’s wounds, what have I done?”
* * *
Sophia could feel the tears. They didn’t stay long in her eyes but were soon hurrying down her cheeks, one tear falling after another.
Bursting out into the garden, she hurried away from the house a little distance, scrambling down a stone terrace so quick that she nearly tripped on the long hem of her gown. She clutched to a shrub beside her, stopping herself from falling, before she took off again, stepping out to a formal garden.
In the moonlight, she could see a fountain, bordered by plants that had been cut back for the winter, with the soil exposed and clods of earth frost dappled. Sophia walked between it all, reaching for the edge of the cascading tiered fountain and gripping to one of the stone bowls, as if it was the only thing that would keep her standing.
“What a fool I am!” she cried through her tears as they began to rock her body. It was not gentle tears, but gut-wrenching gasps, of the kind she had not known for some time.
When Jeremy had asked her to dance, she had held onto hope, believing Rachel could be right, that perhaps Jeremy cared for her too. It had taken all of Sophia’s courage to tell Jeremy how she felt, and yet she was mistaken. He had stared at her throughout it all as if a monkey was professing to love him.
It was never what he wanted, was it? To be loved. He only wanted excitement.
“Is it at an end, then?” The sudden voice made Sophia whip round.
Her breath hitched as she tried to stop her tears, coming face to face with Nick who was hurrying down the terrace steps.
“Nick, please, not now,” she begged. “Leave me to my sadness.”
“I’m not a monster, Sophia, no matter what you think of me as of late, and no matter how badly I express myself, it hardly pleases me to see you in this pain.” His words connected with her.
Don’t be kind now. It does not help.
She turned away from him and leaned on the fountain bowl, aware that Nick was approaching behind her.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Nick asked as he stopped at her side.
“No.” She shook her head. All she wanted was to be alone. “Please, Nick, just go. Leave me to my tears.” She wiped them hastily away from her cheeks.
“He’s not worth it, you know.”
“Nick, please.” She begged, tipping her head up and looking round to see Nick. In the moonlight, she was struck by his expression. Despite the softness of his words and his apparent wish to comfort her, there was something odd in that face, a sternness she had not spotted before.
Those eyes seemed to puncture into her very soul. That look made her stand tall, griping the edge of the fountain. “I cannot deal with this now.”
“What? You cannot handle hearing the truth?” He stepped toward her. “He never deserved your affection.” His tone was no longer gentle, but firm. “Did he even care for you at all?”
I thought he did, but I was wrong.
When Nick’s hand moved toward her, she flinched away, stepping away from his grasp. She began to realize what she had done. She was out here alone with Nick, a man who had already barged his way into her chamber and was now looking at her with barely restrained anger.
“You should have been with someone else, Sophia,” he said, walking toward her.
“Do not say it, Nick. Please. I put this down to momentary madness before, that you were running away with an errant thought. Do not say another word, please!” She could hear the desperation in her tone. She went to turn away from him, but he reached out and took her arm, jerking her back toward him so that she fell into his chest. “Nick!” She tried to push him away.
“You should have been with me, Sophia.” The words escaped him in a rush as he tried to press his lips to hers.
