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“More?”
“More.”
“Not couple-more?”
“No.” Icouldn’tclarify. Thomas didn’twant to hear me say Iwas fucking his wife’sbest friend, and it had nothing to do with the advice Ineeded from him. Not the details.
He inhaled, his eyes clearing when comprehension struck. “When did that happen?”
“It’sbeen going on for afew months.”
“Months?!” This time he whisper-shouted, thoroughly surprised.
“Yup.”
He pulled the phone away, his eyes moving to the side and up, his lips pinched together in thought. “So the day Ithought Isaw you going out of her apartment early in the morning, it was you.”
“Yup.”
Silence, more understanding, his shock turning to adeep frown.
“Ihope you’re not calling to say you’ve hurt her. Erin’sbeen dying for this to happen for years, but if you broke her heart, I’mtelling you now, I’ll be pissed. Ilike Laura. Besides you, she and Erin’sbrother are the closest things Ihave to siblings.”
“No. No, no, no.” Ileaned the phone against the flower vase to rub my forehead with the inside of my palms. “I’mnot the one doing the hurting. Not her either. She doesn’tmean it, anyway.”
“Then what’sgoing on?” he asked in his somber tone, the judgment leaving his tone.
Ibreathed and started retelling what had been our casual arrangement turned to one-sided affection. How it had started out small and spurred into ahuge, powerful thing that Icouldn’timagine living without.
With the intimate details left out, Itold him about my feelings. Itold him that thoughts of her occupied my every waking hour, that I’dbe willing to do anything to make her happy and see her smile, that Istood up and would stand up for her for as long as she needed me.
My friend listened, only getting up once to place the phone on some books while he took the crying Violet in his arms. Other than that, he waited patiently until Iwas done.
“That’sit.” Idrank from the water bottle Ihad by the laptop, my throat sore from the long story, then planted my head in my hand again. “I’mlosing it. Idon’tknow what to do anymore.”
His mouth twitched in what could be described as aThomas smile. “Holy s—poop, you’re in love with Laura.”
If Irolled my eyes any higher, they would’ve probably reached the back of my brain. “Istill speak English, don’tI?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He shook his head, hugging asleeping Violet close. “Icould go to Erin with that.”
“Huh?” My eyebrows shot up. “What’swrong with you giving me advice?”
“That is my advice.” He sighed, as if talking to the biggest moron. And maybe Iwas. “Wait aminute,” he said when Vi stirred in her sleep. Thomas walked away and returned with his earbuds, placing them in his ears and laying back without putting the baby in her crib.
“Listen, Ican’ttell you whether you should leave this relationship and find awoman who looks for the same things as you do, or come clean to Laura and fight for her. If you asked what Iwould prefer, which Ithink is what you prefer, it’sthe latter.”
“Then you’re saying Ishould tell her?” Ijumped in while my mind raced with what and how and where I’ddo it.
“Iam, but hold up asec before you run off with the boombox.”
“What?” Igroaned with every bit of the exasperation that had built up in me.
“You wanted to know why Erin. Ithink you could use her outside help.” His tone never wavered, serious and compassionate despite my show of emotion.
“You mean Erin would advocate for us before Iwent to Laura.”
“Iknow she’dbe happy to. In fact, she’sbeen doing it for the past two-plus years nonstop.”
