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Rianne hadn’t changed that much. She had the same beauty. Her nose was pierced now, like mine was, and her loose curls were left natural, buoyant around her face. Her dress was deep blue and skimmed her curves to the floor. She was dressed as Yoa, subduer of the waters, Shangaya’s mortal-enemy-turned-ally-turned-friend. I felt like I was going to faint.
She turned to the boys, who were stood still, unsure what to do as they looked on, trying to figure out if they were in the midst of war. All I knew was that I had an instant stress stomachache. I was going to pass out.
“Hey... can we have a few minutes, please? If you don’t mind.” She directed the last part at me.
Malakai turned to me, eyes horrified; he pulled me aside, lowering his voice. “Kiki, I had no idea, I swear. I amsosorry. We can just drop this.... Are you okay?”
I shook my head slowly, feeling stunned. “Of course you had no idea.” I glanced at Rianne, who was watching us. “I think I have to talk to her. I’ll be fine.”
Malakai reached out to gently squeeze my elbow before nodding at Amari and finding a table nearby.
“It’s good to see you, Kiki. Here of all places.” Rianne’s smile was so forced it was perplexing. “I mean, I guess it makes sense if we think about it. We were obsessed with those books at school. Do you remember when we used to spend ages on those fanfic sites? God, how did we manage to pretend we were cool?”
I exhaled deeply and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Then it was as if I erupted. “Rianne, what do you want? Like, what was the friend requestabout? Why are you tagging me in old pictures? Why are you acting like we’re just two old friends catching up right now? Is this some kind of weird extended revenge plan, because I am sorry, and I said it then and I’m saying it now. I just—” I was speaking faster now, trying to get words to outrun the tears I felt burgeoning, stinging my eyes. “I’msorry, I was drunk and then he was giving me more alcohol and then before I knew it, I—”
It took me a while to realize that Rianne was shaking her head frantically, her own eyes glistening. She reached out and grabbed my wrist. “K, K...Fuck.I’mso sorry.” Wait, what? “That’s why I sent the friend request, that’s why I tagged you in that picture. I just didn’t know how to reach out to you. I’ve been so ashamed. I acted really, really badly—”
“Rianne, I get it.”
“No. No. I was wrong. I should have heard you out. But Nile had this hold on me, you know? He told me that you’d been after him for a while, and I was an idiot not to have seen it. He was a manipulative prick, Kiki. He’s the one that told me to block you and, I don’t know, he just had this way of making me feel like I was an idiot. We went out for maybe two, three months after that, and I really lost myself. And, at first, yeah, I was so, so pissed at you. But inside it never made sense to me. You wouldn’t do that.”
“Ri... I was really drunk and he got me even drunker, and he was saying all this stuff and before I knew it, we were kissing, or he was kissing me, and then I pushed him off but he kept— IswearI pushed him off.”
Rianna’s hold on my wrist tightened; her eyes were shiny. “Stop. I know. I know. You don’t have to rehash this for me, I promise. His version didn’t make sense. I kept asking him what exactly had happened and he would get so mad, so I’d drop it. One time, we were having some argument about a cheating rumor—that turned out to be true, by the way—and he goes, ‘Fuck, why was I even loyal to you when Kiki tried it withme? I should have let her keep going. She was better with her tongue than you anyway.’ Then, it was like something clicked. Like I’d been under some fucking spell and it had broken.
“I thought about the way he acted with me and alcohol and put two and two together. And Iknew. Fuck, Kiki, I have been feeling so sick about how I treated you. And you were going through so much and I was so selfish. I let him get between us.... I’m really, really, sorry.” Her voice broke.
I flipped her hand so it was in mine. The relief I felt at her words, her understanding, was soured by the nausea that rose at the thought of what she must have experienced with him—the anger at what he’d taken from us. Taking a deep breath, I squeezed her hand. “Ri, it’s okay. He messed with both of us. I’m just glad that you got away from him.”
Rianne’s eyes filled further. “There were so many times I wanted to call you. I wrote so many messages that ended up being deleted before I sent them. Our breakup really sucked for me, K.”
I swallowed, but still the words barely made it out of my throat. “Yeah. It really fucking hurt for me too. I think it made me lose my mind a bit, to be honest.”
“Same. I totally understand if you hate me.”
The nausea receded. “What? Ri, whatever happens you’re always going to mean a lot to me. I love you. I didn’t stop.”
The tears spilled over from Rianne’s eyes and she squeezed my hand back. “I love you too, K. Can we like... start over, maybe?”
“I’d really like that.”
Rianne and I had grown and all the places we used to fit into one another had been filled or had evolved, the gaps sealed. We might not ever be best friends again, but there was potential there. Hope. And now that we’d cleared away the debris of the past, we had access to the memories we’d created together and we could build something new on that foundation.
“I can’t believe we’re dressed as Shangaya and Yoa, sobbing at a convention center coffee shop,” I muttered as I drew a paper napkin from the silver dispenser on the table and dabbed the edges of my eyes with it.
Rianne snorted as she swiped beneath her eyes with her thumbs. “Yeah, I know, man. Although when you think about it, it’s pretty poetic. Also, speaking of coffee, I should have known it was you when I met a guy whose girlfriend had the same order as me. Does your man take the piss out of it too?”
“Yeah. A serious lack of taste.”
“Except when it comes to us.”
I snorted. “Obviously.”
[Untitled_Love.Doc]
Director, producer: Malakai Korede
Consulting Producer/Interviewer: Kiki Banjo
