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“Fuck,” my back arches and I feel the explosion burst inside, sending sparkling, tingling little shocks through every inch of me.
Theo lets out a feral roar as he unleashes his load, and I can feel the heat even through the condom. A few seconds after, Alex lets loose his own howl of ecstasy.
I’m so blissed out and limp I don’t move when they both climb off me and peel condoms off, cleaning themselves off a bit before climbing back into the bed with me, cradling me between them.
We’re all breathless and silent for a while before finally Alex quietly jokes: “I win.”
We all laugh, and Theo absently runs a finger along my shoulder, then across my collarbone. He notices the chain on my neck and his finger traces it until he reaches the rings. “These are beautiful,” he remarks, “Did they belong to your parents?”
I swallow, hard. This isn’t a conversation I was quite ready to have, and it feels like the sort of thing that could definitely put a damper on the afterglow of the moment. But I’m also not going to lie about it. “No, my parents are alive and well and still wearing theirs proudly,” I say with a tiny smile, “These are uh, mine. And my late husband’s.”
His eyes widen and he moves his hand away from them and back to my shoulder, but this time the touch is intentional and comforting. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “You couldn’t have known. Not exactly a ton of widows under 30 out there. We’re one of those small, niche clubs that no one really wants to be a part of.”
Alex chuckles, then winces. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed at that.”
“Yes, you should’ve, I’m fucking funny,” I retort.
This makes both of them laugh and lifts the dark cloud of my dreary backstory a bit. But I know I still owe them some explanation, so I give them the SparkNotes version of my marriage.
It’s weird, but I actually feel a little bit guilty as I talk about some of it, but not in the way I’m used to. Instead of feeling disloyal to Toby, I actually feel a little pang of guilt as I tell Alex and Theo about him, like it’s cruel to talk about how much another man means to me while I’m in bed with the two of them.
But they’re both quietly comforting, stroking my bare skin or my hair as I speak and occasionally pressing a tender kiss to the nearest body part. “So honestly,” I finish, “I wasn’t even sure I was ready to get back out there. I’m glad I did, obviously,” I flash them both a smile, “But it was kind of unintentional.”
“How so?” Alex asks.
“Well, you remember how I mentioned working for MysteryMatch?”
They both nod.
“I own it. It was my idea and I got it all started and stuff,” I admit, “I never planned to use it myself, but when we launched our first update, something went haywire and my profile got activated.”
Alex’s arm stills on my shoulder and maybe it’s my imagination, but he seems to tense a little.
Theo, on the other hand, chuckles. “I can sympathize. My sister Becca is actually the one who got me the membership.”
He explains that in his last serious relationship, he’d found his boyfriend in bed with another man, and not in the fun kind of way we were all enjoying. The guy was cheating on him with multiple other people, and it broke his heart, so he hadn’t dated seriously ever since.
“I was originally just going to go on a date or two to humor her, but obviously…” he laughs.
I smile, but I feel Alex shift, and to my confusion, he’s getting to his feet. His face is etched with a deep frown, his eyes looking hurt. “Alex, what’s-”
“So neither one of you had any actual desire to go out with me,” he says flatly.
My heart sinks. “Alex, no, that’s not what I meant, it-”
“You got stuck on a date with me to cover your ass and protect your company, and you just did it to shut up your little sister. Neither one of you actually wanted to be with me,” he shakes his head in disbelief, “Wow, I can’t believe this.”
“Alex, come on,” Theo begins, but Alex whirls on him.
“No. Don’t. It’s great that you guys are just laughing about what a big joke this has been for both of you, but I actually gave a shit and wanted something real.”
He starts gathering up his clothes and both Theo and I protest and try to stop him, but we end up talking at once and it just turns into noise. Alex ignores us anyway and storms out.
“Alex!” Theo calls after him and scrambles to throw his boxers on, chasing after him.
But I hear the front door slam, and just like that, it feels like everything’s crumbling around me.
