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He chuckled but kept his mouth closed. When the food came, I pushed past the smell, knowing that I would feel better as soon as I got it into my stomach. “So, chat away,” I told him before filling my mouth with hash brown.
He placed his knife and fork on the table. “Op is worried about you.”
I scoffed. A very unladylike thing to do especially with a mouth full of food.
“Listen Chelsea. This life we have, it can be very dangerous, you know that,” he explained, leaning back in the seat. “I know a lot of brothers who choose to be alone and remove themselves from anyone that they could possibly care about because they’re scared of them getting hurt. It’s one of the reasons we have club girls. The men get what they need without the attachment. Well, that’s how it usually works.”
“You don’t have to explain that to me, Kit. I live it, remember?” I told him, pushing some food around on my plate with my fork.
“No, you’re different. Optimus cares about you, and he’d kill me if he heard me say it, but that scares the shit out of him.”
I screwed up my face. “It’s hard to believe when sometimes he’s pulling me in and others he’s pushing me out. It’s like I’m on some crazy roller coaster ride, but I’m too scared to get off because I may never be able to feel that same thrill anywhere else.”
He looks at me sympathetically. “Optimus is a hard man to get through too. But he wasn’t always that way. His parents were great. We used to take family trips to visit every few months. Op and I were both the only children, so having him around was like having a brother.” He sighed and looked down at the table. “His mom died when he was in his teens. Some little fuckheads in a street gang thought they were hard and drove past the club one day when there was family gathered to welcome a brother who was getting a full patch. They had a couple of submachine guns.”
I couldn’t help the gasp that came out of my mouth. Optimus had only ever shared with me that his mom was killed, never the details of how. Neither of us had been intrusive into each other’s lives. While you might think it was important, it just never seemed to matter. It was in the past and we were living in the present.
“The boys were in church so by the time the shots started, they were already too far away and couldn’t get there fast enough. Little bastards were there for less than twenty seconds before they drove off. A lot of injuries, six dead.”
“There’s a fence, so you can’t see the barbecue area and where the kids play from the road.”
Kit nodded. “Was put in afterward.”
I was sad, I could feel the emotion sitting in my throat. That must have been a horrible day for the club.
“And Op’s mom?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to hear it.
“She was sitting at a table eating,” he shook his head. “Optimus should’ve been there too, but he was at that age where we all thought we were too cool to sit with our parents. He wanted to be inside with the men—he was already dreaming of prospecting.”
I’d managed to eat some food, but I pushed my still half full plate away. I wasn’t sure how to react. “He...he doesn’t talk about her like he does his dad.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame really. She was an amazing woman.” He picked at his food, also feeling a little put-off, I think. “I think he’s a bit ashamed. He feels like he should’ve been there to protect her. Maybe if he had been, he would’ve been the one to take the bullets instead of her.”
I swallowed harshly. Optimus harbored a lot of guilt, it was sad because he was an amazing man. Every brother looked up to him.
Kit cleared his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this all depressing and shit. I just wanted to let you know, Op has been through some bad shit. I think deep down he feels like he was responsible for both his mom and his dad passing. So he feels like he needs to keep the ones he cares about at a distance, so the same thing doesn’t happen to them.”
I nodded.
It made sense.
Everything in me screamed that I needed to go to him.
“Go home, Chelsea.”
I looked up, feeling like Kit had read my mind.
“Are you kicking me out?”
He smirked. “Sure, if that’s the excuse you want to use, but we both know you want to go back. I know you Miss Harm, but she’ll always be here, you can visit anytime.”
I smiled. “Okay, but I better wait till Harmony gets back or she’ll go fucking loco on the both of us.”
