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When it came to Chelsea, I lost all self-control.
I’d spent the last week doing everything possible to keep my distance from her. I’d spent time at the strip club. I’d tried to entertain myself with Lou Lou—one of the other club whores. I’d even spent a couple nights with my own damn hand, hoping that anything and everything would take off the edge.
Fucking useless.
I was stuck on her.
And I had no idea what the hell I was going to do about it.
A couple days and Sugar would be here with Harlyn—my pride and joy, my baby girl. I wasn’t sure how Chelsea was going to react to that surprise, but I knew it wasn’t going to be good. I didn’t blame her. I’d never promised her anything and while we’d never had an exclusive relationship, it wasn’t unknown that I had feelings for her that went further than just sex. She was beautiful, funny, and all kinds of crazy, but I fucking loved it. She made me feel good, she made me smile. I could be me around her, I didn’t have to be‘Optimus the Club President’who not only had to worry about himself but every single person who was part of the MC.
I threw the door to my office open and it slammed back against the wall, much like I had just scolded Chelsea for doing.
“Having a bad day, Prez?”
I threw the door closed again before delivering a sharp glare to my Vice President, Blizzard.
“Get the hell out of my chair, motherfucker.”
He was reclined in my chair, his shit kickers propped up on the desk in front of him and his fingers laced behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world. Blizzard was one of the most laid back guys I had ever met—the perfect man to be my VP.
He balanced me out.
People saw me as serious, scary and intense.
It was true. I was all those things. But I never used to be.
I had a hell that smoldered away inside me. It was just embers now. My fire, my light—that shit had been doused years ago. I’d lost my father, and the girl who I thought I would spend my life with both within a week. One, because I’d put my love for a woman before my club, and the other because once that fire was out, the embers that burned were only enough to fuel my revenge. There was nothing left for anyone else.
And if I was being honest, I was not sure there was even now.
I’d made mistakes back then, and it would be a dark day in hell before I repeated them.
I walked around and shoved Blizzard’s feet off my desk. They landed with a thud on the floor and he used the momentum to shift his body from my chair.
“So I’ll take that as a resounding yes?”
“Take a hike,” I muttered as I took my seat again.
“You actually cancel her college papers?” I clenched my fist and looked up. Blizzard was standing in the center of the room with his arms folded across his chest. He had an unusually stern expression on his face. I didn’t answer him, but he didn’t need me to. He had obviously heard it all. “Chel’s different, Op. You know that, I know that, all the boys fucking know that. She’s sexy as hell and smarter than your average club whore. What are you trying to do?”
I slammed my fist on the table, but Blizz didn’t even flinch. “I’m protecting her, just like I’m trying to do for all you other assholes here. We have the Mafia on our asses. Or does everyone keep forgetting that?”
“Protecting her or forcing her hand? You think if you force her to resit she’ll be around for just a little while longer.”
I ground my teeth together.
I wanted to get up and punch him in the face. But what he said was the truth. I kept telling myself I did it because I was protecting her—that not allowing her to leave the compound was in her best interests. But I knew … I knew as soon as she finished her papers that she’d be gone, finding a way to use her degree and I knew I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to let her go. But as far as I was concerned, being with me would only bring her danger and thinking about losing her too was enough to break me.
I’d forced myself to stay away from her the last week. We had a rat in the club. One of the Mafia’s own. Target had gotten to Harmony and put her in the worst kind of trouble as he attempted to take down the club using what he called one of our biggest weaknesses—our women.
While they valued family, women within the Italian Mafia were always to be seen and never heard. Things were slightly different with women inside the club. Sure we had the club whores, the strippers, and the hang arounds, but when we cared about a woman, we treasured and honored her like she deserved.
The bastard had informed us of his plan, including the fact that he’d known of my feelings for Chelsea and that she was the original aim before Harmony got in the way of his plans. Not only that, but that even if he didn’t make it the plan would still be in place, plus the added bonus of them coming to avenge his death.
I put Target down, but not before Harmony had taken her frustrations out on him with a baseball bat.
