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Chapter One
I stared at the doctor unable to compute what exactly it was that she was telling me.
The last few months had been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. More downs than anything if I’m completely honest with myself. Something I really didn’t want to be right now.
“She may havewhat?” Kit asked, the only one of us who was able to string together words to make a sentence.
“Endometriosis,” Doctor Parish repeated, looking at me with sympathetic eyes. No not sympathetic—pitying. “So when a woman has a period…”
Kit screwed up his nose as he listened to the doctor speak, explaining what it was and how it affects a woman’s body. If I hadn’t been in such shock, I might have laughed.
But she wasn’t just talking about women. She was talking aboutme.
“There can be cysts and scar tissue, and if that’s the case it could be what’s stopping your eggs from making their journey into your uterus,” she continued.
Kit reached over and placed his hand in mine, squeezing it gently.
I cleared my throat. “So, you’re saying I do have this or just maybe?”
“The only way to tell for sure is a small operation where we take a look inside.”
My body tightened.
“Let’s say she does. Is there something we can do? Can she still get pregnant?” Kit asked, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to ease the tension.
Doctor Parish cupped her hands together on the table. “I’m going to be honest.”
“Please,” I muttered dryly.
“There are things that we can do. Medications… surgery. There’s no guarantee that it won’t come back.” She sighed. “There’s also studies that say that even if you do manage to conceive, that there’s a higher risk of complications.”
“Such as?” Kit prompted.
“More chance of preterm labor and a higher possibility of hemorrhaging.”
I felt Kit’s body twitch, and tears began to burn at the back of my eyes. I swallowed furiously, attempting to keep them at bay and to be strong. “So what you’re saying is…” I choked, “…even if we did get pregnant, it could be dangerous.”
My mind instantly went to Leo, he’d lost his wife during birth because of that very thing. He’d been crushed, his life torn from him within an instant. Left with a beautiful little girl to raise on his own. A little girl who would never meet her mother.
I couldn’t do that to Kit. I couldn’t risk my life and the life of our child with the possibility that he could lose one of us, or both of us. A sob left my chest and the fight against the tears ended. They flowed freely down my cheeks.
Kit was with me in an instant, plucking me from the chair I was sitting on and placing me on his lap. My heart ached for the children I may never have and the two that I’d already lost. Trying for another at this stage and losing it may just be the thing that breaks me for good.
Kit wanted children. His parents wanted grandchildren and I desperately wanted to give him everything he’d dreamed of and more.
Kids had never really been on my radar until I found out I was pregnant. The first time had been an accident, but losing that baby had made me realize just how strongly I wanted that to be a part of my life.
Kit would be the father that I never had—supportive, loving, perfect.
I wanted that for him, I wanted it for us.
And now…
It seemed untouchable.
“Harmony?” Doctor Parish said softly, coaxing my face from where it was tucked into my man’s chest.
I looked over at her through blurry eyes, seeing her soft smile. “I can tell just how desperately you two want this baby.”
