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Chapter Five
We washed down the dishes in comfortable silence.
I never felt awkward around Bright Eyes. She had welcomed me into her arms and her home as if I was one of her own children.
Being far away from my mom sucked. I missed her every single day but having Bright Eyes and Oz had helped to ease the ache.
“I need to apologize,” Bright Eyes said, startling me for a moment. She wiped her wet hands on her apron before turning to me. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the strange color that shone back at me. The green sparkling with a touch of yellow was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. It was piercing, but at the same time she held the gentle gaze of a mother, full with warmth and understanding.
“I feel like we’ve put a lot of pressure on the two of you to have children.”
I was shaking my head before she even finished her sentence. I opened my mouth to object but she held up a hand, halting me.
“Oz and I would have liked more children, but it seemed as though Kit was our miracle baby. We tried after Kit, but it just never happened and in those days, all these other fancy ideals weren’t as well known.”
I was sad for Bright Eyes. She was an amazing mother and would be a spectacular grandmother. She loved children and the joy they brought into the world. Seeing her with Leo’s daughter Macy had made me so happy, but then guilt had settled when I wondered whether I would ever be able to give her that gift.
“Eventually we just stopped trying to have more. I always wondered why, until Tie came along.” A soft smile touched her lips.
Oz had found Tie living on the streets as a young teen. They’d adopted him, taking him in as their own and raised him no differently. Tie was as smart as a whip but chose to join the club after high school despite his parents encouraging him to go to college.
This was where he wanted to be. There was no arguing with that.
“Had our life been different, I’m not sure whether Tie would be in it,” she explained as she began to place the dishes back into cupboards. “And I wouldn’t for one second want to be without him.”
“So you think there’s a reason that this happened?” I asked, clutching a small dishcloth in my hand.
Bright Eyes looked at me, the sparkle of tears shining in her eyes. “Nothing will ever take away the pain of losing children. They may not have been born yet, but they were yours.”
I felt a familiar burn in the back of my throat as I nodded. “But I know that one day, maybe soon or maybe later on, you’ll realize why they weren’t meant to make it.”
Tears fell from our eyes as she rounded the table and pulled me into her arms. “I’m sorry that we pressured you so much.”
I shook my head profusely, pulling back so I could look directly at her. “No. You didn’t. I want these children for me, for Kit, for you. Kit is going to be the most amazing father, and my heart is so full just thinking about seeing him holding our child. I want a family.”
Bright Eyes’ face lit up. “You’re right. Hewillbe an amazing father, and when you want something that bad, you just need to fight for it.”
My head bobbed up and down. “I’m ready. I wasn’t sure at first, putting my child’s life in someone else’s hands is scary.”
Bright Eyes grasped my hands. “Then you don’t mess around. You don’t settle. You want that woman to be perfect, and you keep searching until you know in your heart that she’s it.”
I grinned through my tears. “We’re going to look at possible surrogates next week.”
Bright Eyes pulled me to a seat and we discussed the process, how the first hurdle is getting an egg. We need to see the fertility doctor, talk about the process, discuss what needs to be done, and how quickly we can get things moving.
“It’s going to be a process.” I sighed, looking down at the table and tracing the wood grain with the tip of my finger. “And there’s no guarantee that they’ll even be able to get an egg. There’s going to be injections and doctors’ visits and scans. Surgery too! Then—”
“Harmony,” Bright Eyes snapped in the middle of my rant. “Stop it. You’re a young woman. There’s plenty of time. It might happen straight away. You might have to wait. But what you aren’t going to do is stress yourself to the point of a nervous breakdown.”
My voice shook as I laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Isn’t she always?” Oz chuckled, walking into the kitchen with Kit following closely behind him.
Bright Eyes didn’t answer, but the smug smile that played on her lips said everything.
“You ready to go?” Kit asked, brushing my hair back from my shoulder.
I nodded and stood from the table.
