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“That your only excuse?” I challenged. “What are you scared of?”
He slammed his bottle down on the bar, startling the people around us. I caught Optimus’ eye over the top of Ham’s head and he raised his brows in question, silently asking if he needed to step in. I shook my head once, indicating I would deal with it.
“Lost my parents when I was eighteen,” he started, surprising me. “My brother and sister were taken into foster care, but because I was eighteen, I suddenly had nothing. There was a small bit of insurance money which let me get an apartment, and I worked my ass off to make a place where I could have my younger siblings, but the courts said no every single time.”
I listened intently, remembering briefly a year ago when he came to join the club, his explanation about his life and his background searches. His parents were killed by a drunk driver on their way to pick up Ham from baseball practice one night. They were killed on impact and the kids were torn apart. A couple of relatives had stepped forward to claim the kids, but because of previous criminal histories for stupid shit like drugs charges from when they were younger and an assault charge for a bar fight, the court denied them access. So Ham’s only choice was to fight for them himself, and prove that he could support his younger brother and sister who were twelve and sixteen at the time.
“My brother Romeo walked away from foster care wanting nothing to do with me. My sister Phee did a runner from her last group home and I haven’t seen or heard from her for a couple years. Lost my parents, lost my siblings, lost everything. This is the first time I’ve actually had safety and security and support and people who give a shit about me, in a very long time.” He gripped his beer bottle in his hand. “I need to find myself before I let someone else in. I’m finally becoming someone I can be proud of, becoming a man who can take care of his shit. But I’m not quite there yet, and if I fell in love now and lost her, I just don’t know how I would cope.”
I let his words work through me, but I couldn’t help but be surprised by his admissions. I never would have expected him to be harboring this much pain inside him.
“Meyah just turned eighteen. She should go to college. Live life and shit,” he murmured, pushing to his feet and throwing back the last few drops in his beer bottle.
I got it.
I understood exactly where he was coming from.
He’d felt a lot of pain in his life. It was common for people like Ham to join the club. Sometimes it was enough to heal them, to show them the brotherhood and support that they craved and that they had been missing. We were more than outlaws or rough assholes who rode motorcycles. We were a group of men who had each other’s backs and sometimes, that was exactly what you needed.
“Meyah!” I yelled as I watch the young girl jog across the gravel toward the front gate. “Meyah, stop!”
As though my words had a sudden effect on her, she froze. Her shoulders slumped and she turned, tears streaking her cheeks. “I’m stupid, aren’t I?” she sniveled when I finally reached her.
“Oh, sweetie…” I sighed, pulling her into my arms and cradling her against my chest. “No, you’re not stupid. You’re young, and when we’re young, our hearts haven’t had time to build a resistance against idiot males just yet.”
“We’ve b-barely even had a damn c-conversation,” she stammered, kicking angrily at the stones beneath her feet. “I mean, I just thought…”
“I know,” I whispered, pulling away the stray hairs that were sticking to her wet cheeks. “So did I, to be quite honest.”
I was confused as hell. I knew Ham had a thing for Meyah, it was obvious to almost everyone. I’m pretty sure even Leo had noticed the way the two skirted around each other when Meyah was here, and the constant blush that was present on her cheeks when he was within a few feet of her.
Fucking confused.
Maybe the patch had gone to his head.
“I should just go home.”
Hooking my finger under her chin, I drew her attention to me. “Hold up one second. I know you’re upset, but I also know that those tears running down your face were therebeforeyou burst through the clubhouse doors.” She flinched noticeably. “Let’s talk about that.”
“Do we have to?”
I nodded, taking her hand and walking over to the wall that separated the yard from the front of the clubhouse. Meyah stood nervously next to the patio as I stuck my head through the patio doors. “Leo?”
He looked over his shoulder at me. “Meyah okay?”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine. Can I borrow your 8mm?” I asked casually.
A smirk pulled at his lips. “Now baby, you aren’t gonna shoot Ham are you?”
“It crossed my mind,” I replied sweetly, causing all the boys to laugh. “But no, I want to take her out the back.”
Camo snorted. “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna put a gun in her hand.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I popped my hip out to the side. “Um… considering I’m the best shot out of all of you, who else would be better to supervise and teach her?”
They all knew I was a damn good shot, and not only that, but I was extremely considerate of gun safety. Meyah had some shit going on, I knew that much, and she needed something to relieve her stress. This might work, it might not and we’ll have to work with something else, but we won’t know unless we try.
“You sure?” Leo asked skeptically.
