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Chapter Thirty-Nine
Wrench held my hand as we drove through the countryside that I knew felt so familiar.
Months and months had passed, and now we were heading home.
It was December Twenty-Eighth. We’d missed Christmas by a few days and barely missed the birth of Chelsea and Op’s twin boys, Jackson and Oliver. I’d seen pictures and while the boys were still in the hospital, having come far too early, but they were fighters and getting stronger every damn day.
It was that, that had spurred us to come home. We’d been discussing it for over a week now, the both of us sure in our minds that it was time. My heart was aching to be with my daughter and start our lives again, with the club and with the man who had stood by me through thick and thin.
The man whose hand was clasped in mine, his fingers fiddling with my ring, the ring he’d given me on Christmas Day with promises of love and support for the rest of my life.
“Tootsie roll?” Wrench called out from the porch of the small cabin we lived in, bringing a smile to my face. He’d never stopped changing them. Every day there was a new nickname, some kind of candy or something sweet that he liked to call me by.
I knew it had started out as a game, searching for something he could call me that was his own. But the game, in turn, had turned into just that, the new names he came up with was something that was special to us. Something that made both of us smile.
“I’m here,” I called back, drawing his attention to where I was feeding Butternut, one of the farm horses.
I heard his heavy footsteps move down the steps, the grass crunching under his feet as he made his way over to me. We’d been here on the ranch for almost three months.
The first month had been a pretty intense program that they specialized in here, helping people with disorders like my own cope with our emotions. At first, it was hard to see through the fog, my nights still filled with horrible dreams and memories, and my days spent missing my daughter and feeling like I’d failed her for walking away when she needed me the most.
But Wrench stood by my side, and the people who owned the ranch, they knew what they were doing, and they gave me the time I needed to work on myself. They taught us both skills, from how to remind myself that I wasn’t the only one dealing with the problems I had, and helping me accept the fact that I didn’t need to feel like I was an outsider, or an addict because medication helped me get through the days. They helped me to see that the guilt I harbored deep inside me because of my addiction to those pills was not my fault and that I was taking the steps I needed to take toward making myself better for my family and for me.
The ranch was busy, but it was also calming. There were times where we could relax and bask in the open air, take a moment to calm our minds, and there were other times where they worked us hard, showing us how to deal with stressful situations when they hit us head on.
It wasn’t all about learning how to breathe, it was also about learning my limits and knowing how to bring myself back or ask for help when I felt like I was getting too deep.
Sure, there were times when it got too much, when I missed Harlyn so deeply that my heart ached, and I felt like the shadows were coming back for me. But they also taught Wrench how to be there for me, while letting me have my space, so that I didn’t rely on him constantly to make everything better.
I was stronger within myself.
I was ready to be with my family again.
We weren’t sure when, but very soon we’d be heading home. Wrench had managed to pay off the debt that had been placed on me, using funds from Eric’s accounts. He had to do it slowly, though, pulling out small amounts over time. We were just thankful that technically, Eric was still classed as missing and not dead, so they hadn’t shut his accounts down, and showing that there was money going out was actually good for keeping that ideal alive, so people wondered whether he’d just done a runner.
A hand touched my back, and I smiled as his arms wormed their way around my waist. I never imagined having a man like Wrench do what he’d done for me. He stepped away from his family and the club for all this time, to make sure that I had the skills and the mindset I needed to survive. He reminded me every single day how much he loved me, and how he’d be by my side no matter what. And he proved it.
He didn’t want to fix me like so many others had thought they could.
“She’s gonna get fat if you just stand here all day and feed her,” he chuckled in my ear, reaching for his own hand full of pellets and offering it to her. She nibbled at them like the greedy girl she was.
“Isn’t that the point of Christmas Day? To eat all the food humanly possible and then spend the next two days regretting it?” I laughed.
He snorted. “You may have a point. On that note, the food is ready, so it’s time to eat.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the house as I giggled happily.
When we stepped inside, I gasped, and my hand went straight to my mouth. The table was set with two plates on either side and flowers in the center. There was one other thing, though. Something that made the smile on my face grow wider as I looked over at him.
He was grinning. “Romance isn’t exactly my thing, so I just went with what I knew.”
Candy and chocolate bars covered almost ever surface of our tiny cabin. There was only one room, except for a small separate bathroom. There was every type of candy you could imagine spread out across the bed, the coffee table, the sofa and the small kitchen. It was like a sugar factory had exploded in there.
“Where did you hide all this stuff?” I said in awe as I moved through the room.
He snorted. “Hiding it wasn’t the hard part, it was not eating it that almost got to me.”
I shook my head and laughed. Wrench’s body was in freaking amazing shape. He trained every day, yet never thought twice about what food he was putting into his body. I hated it, my jealousy rearing when I caught sight in the mirror of my slightly rounded stomach.
