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I shrugged. “You told me not to.”

She played with her hair under the water. “Yeah, sometimes people don’t listen, though. Sometimes they think they know best.”

I tapped my fingers on the edge of the bath. “You have those often?”

She shook her head. “Not for a really long time. I’m usually pretty good at… controlling them, I can tell when they’re coming. That one just hit me like a Mac truck.”

I splashed some water on my face and then wiped it away. “My mom, she used to have panic attacks quite often. I used to sit with her, she said that made her feel better.”

Mom always used to say that she needed support, but she didn’t need me to sit there and cuddle her and tell her that ‘everything would be okay.’ Because when someone is in that state of mind—where the world feels like it’s crumbling down around them—the last thing they want is to feel like you’re down playing their emotions.

“Why did she have panic attacks?” Sugar asked curiously.

“When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was only like eleven. My sister was just leaving for college, and she was already working two jobs to support us,” I told her as my hand dipped below the water and skimmed across the soft skin of her calf. “Mom started to get anxious. My sister had been working for a year to help pay the bills, and now, although there would be one less mouth to fill, with Mom’s mounting medical bills, it was also going to be a strain losing my sister’s little bit of income.”

“Oh wow,” Sugar said in awe. “That would have been so hard.”

My finger trailed lazily over her leg and I sunk deeper into the water, lying my head back on the edge of the bath.

“Yeah, Dani tried to stay but my mom refused to let her give up her education, saying we’d make do. And we did, despite her having anxiety attacks more than once a week.” I smiled as I remembered my mom, and just how tough she was. “She battled through. We made it work. She went into remission for a while, and things were looking up, she was working and making enough for us to live comfortably. Then one day, the cancer came back with a vengeance, and she just couldn’t fight it.”

Sugar came forward, her hand reaching for mine under the water, the movement causing the bath water to slosh over the sides. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, and I smiled.

“She was pretty cool. One of those moms who you knew you couldn’t get away with shit around, but that still did fun stuff like prank your older sister with you, and high fived you when you figured out how to crack bank accounts… as long as you didn’t steal any money.” I chuckled and shook my head, enjoying the memories that I had of one of the most amazing women in the world.

Sugar’s face brightened, and I noticed that the color was coming back to her cheeks. “I hope when Harlyn gets older that she describes me as a cool mom.”

“You’re already the best kind of mom. Young, sexy, successful and a little bit badass. When she gets older, all her guy friends are gonna wanna come round for study groups just so they can perve on you,” I told her, my laughter echoing in the bathroom.

Suddenly a splash of water hit me in the face and I was blinded.

“That’s not even funny,” she protested as I wiped away the droplets from my eyes.

“It was a compliment…” I snickered. “Not that I would let it happen. I’d probably end up doing time for beating the shit out of some high schooler who tried to touch your boob.”

A gentle smile came across her lips. “You plan on being around that long, huh?”

“Plan on being around as long as fucking possible,” I answered honestly, looking her directly in the eyes.

She cleared her throat, obvious emotion choking her up. “I… uh… suddenly feel kinda bad for splashing you,” she said with a weak smile.

I lifted my hand out of the water, and while it was still dripping, I flicked it at her.

She gasped in shock for a second before narrowing her eyes at me. “This is war.”

“Bring it on, jelly bean.”

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