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All I was seeing was this poor kid who was screaming for someone to take notice of her and nobody was listening. Sugar had buried herself in a pile of dreams and aspirations, barely even acknowledging the fact that I was ready to lay my patch down on the line for her, and now I was taking a bench seat. And with Rose’s return and Blizzard’s mom showing up asking for the club’s help, Op’s mind wasn’t quite in the game either.
There was a lot of shit going on, but not a lot I could do about it. Except be there for that little girl when she needed me, like in times like these.
Harlyn giggled and pulled back, her eyes sparkling with humor. “Mom wouldn’t like you swearing like that.”
I chuckled. “She has a problem, you tell her to come talk to me about it.”
She wouldn’t need to though because my plan right now was to find her first.
Optimus stepped into the room, his brow raised in question as I stood to my feet. “Dad’s here now, bet he’ll help you with your homework.”
He rolled his eyes but walked over anyway. “It’s times like these I wish I’d stayed in school longer.”
I smirked. “Time to fulfill your duties, father.” With Harlyn’s back to him, he mouthed the words ‘fuck you’ before taking a seat at the table. “Where’s Sugar at anyway?”
“Harlyn’s staying here the night, she wanted to catch up on some new design shit. There’s an empty shop downtown, but the owner won’t lease it to her unless he knows for sure that she’s got a profitable business to go in there,” he explained as he scooted his chair closer to Harlyn and peered over her shoulder. He groaned loudly. “Math! Of course, we’re working on math today.”
I laughed, patting him on the shoulder before making my way to the door. “I’m gonna go visit my sister. I’ll catch you later.”
“Traitor,” he grumbled. “All right, all right, let’s do this shit.”
“Daddy,” Harlyn warned in a teasing tone.
I could practically see him roll his eyes from across the room. “Stuff… let’s do this stuff.”
Jumping on my bike, I took off toward town. My sister didn’t live too far from Sugar’s new house, so over the past few weeks I’d used her as a cover. I hated doing it, and the lectures that came every single time I pulled up were beginning to get old really fast. I was walking a fine fucking line, one that I knew would soon be pulled out from under me, and I’d be forced to deal with the consequences of my actions. I wanted to tell Op, let him know that Sugar had become an important part of my life and that he could beat me, shoot me, suspend me, but as far as I was concerned I was falling for her, and I needed her with me.
Sugar, on the other hand, was determined to keep the peace between us, and not let whatever it was that we had, effect the dynamics of the club. I heard her, and I appreciated her concern for the brotherhood and my relationship with Op and the others, but it was like she couldn’t see that by keeping this secret she was actually doing the opposite.
I was lying, sneaking around, betraying the faith and trust that they had in me, and as far as I was concerned, that was far worse than dealing with the tension that coming clean would create. I knew Optimus would come around, though. He’d be fucking pissed that I went against direct orders, and I couldn’t blame him for that. I knew exactly what I was doing when I decided to chase Sugar. But, I also knew that Op would understand what it meant to have no control over who your heart wanted to pursue.
Sugar was it.
I couldn’t argue with the way that my body and mind wanted to fight so desperately to make her happy. I couldn’t argue with how her body would instantly relax when I touched her, and how because of things like that, I suddenly felt like I had a purpose.
She was a strong woman. One who I knew could deal with the harsh realities of club life. One who never questioned my commitment or dumped on me when I needed to put the club first.
I’d had women before who constantly needed attention, and answers and reassurance. Sometimes, I just couldn’t give them that. I couldn’t answer their questions, I couldn’t explain why I had to run off in the middle of the night when my brothers called, I couldn’t keep easing their insecurities when it came to the club lifestyle and the businesses we owned, or the constant women that were around.
Sugar, she didn’t need any of that.
She just got it.
Sometimes I wasn’t really sure where we sat, what we were. We both had lives. I still had to do my duties for the club, and she was not only trying to raise a child but also starting her own business. I could tell that she was becoming stressed, trying to do too much at once, burning the candle at both fucking ends, but she wouldn’t let me help either.
And since Blizzard had caught us hooking up in the meeting room a few days ago, I think that had hit her hard as I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since.
I’d let her have her space, her time she needed to think.
But as far as I was concerned, time was up.
