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A soft hand on my hair pulled me from my dreams, my eyes slowly peeking open. It took a lot of effort, I was utterly exhausted and my body ached. The doctors were weaning me off the strong painkillers because I was set to head home tomorrow.
To which home, though, I really wasn’t quite sure.
“Hey, baby girl,” my mom whispered, her hand gently stroking my hair back from my face, a gentle and warm gesture which reminded me of what she used to do when I was sick.
“Hey, Mom.”
She smiled.
She’d been to visit me every day for the almost two weeks I’d been in here. Spending hours just sitting in the corner reading, keeping to herself, while the others came in and out—Ham and Romeo, Ripley and Huntsman. Eventually, my dad would drag her away, grumbling about giving me space to heal and not crowding me.
I could already feel the difference in her. It was in her smile. It was in the way she seemed like she was finally at peace.
I knew there was a conversation we needed to have, and with my time here coming to an end, I wasn’t sure if I would get another opportunity to ask her the questions I needed to hear the answers to, and also tell her one thing.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
Her eyes widened before her brow creased between her eyes. “What do you mean?”
I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat.
This was it.
I needed to say what I needed to say.
“I’m sorry for the past few months. How I treated you. How I argued and fought with you…” I stopped and cleared my throat, trying not to get emotional. “You didn’t deserve that.”
Her face settled, the tenseness leaving as she seemed to understand what I was saying.
“I was a brat—”
“No, Meyah. You weren’t a brat. You were right,” she admitted, reaching for my hand and squeezing it tightly. “You’re so much stronger than I was at your age. You have this amazing and beautiful power inside you, and that’s something to be proud of. I let things break me down so easily, and I didn’t fight back. First with Huntsman’s wife, then with Mom and Dad dying…” she clenched her jaw, “… and things with Isiah.”
“That would have broken anyone,” I assured her, lacing my fingers through hers.
She shook her head. “No. It wouldn’t have broken you. You’re so much more than that, and I’m so proud of you for fighting for what you want.”
I cleared my throat and blinked back the tears, her words warming my heart. “What about Denver?”
Her body jerked like she’d been struck by a bullet. She took a moment to fill her lungs again before looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Maybe one day I’ll have to tell him… but I hope that day never comes.”
My heart ached for my little brother, who drove me crazy on the best of days, but who was going to get to an age where he wanted to find his dad too.
Thinking about it that way, I almost lucked out with Huntsman compared to what Denver was going to have to face, and the emotions it might make him feel about himself.
“He’ll be okay,” Mom assured me, patting the back of my hand. “He’s going to have a lot of family to get him through the tough stuff and teach him how to be strong. I’m sure the club won’t let him break down.”
My heart skipped a beat, and my mouth fell open.
She laughed. It was free. It was laid back. It was her finally letting go of the past and having it control her. I could see in her eyes, the way she smiled, the tone of her voice. Things had changed.
“Close your mouth, you catching flies or something?” she teased playfully. “I’m never going to be perfect, Meyah, I’m still going to try and protect you in ridiculous ways. I’m still going to nag you, and I’m still not going to be the biggest fan of the MC because I know the danger that comes with them. But I’m also not going to stop you from doing things or being with someone who makes you as happy as Ham does.”
I laughed as tears poured down my cheeks. “I love you, Mom.”
Things were going to get better, I could tell. She would still have her opinions, and I could tell there would be things we would disagree on, but who gave a shit. Because all that mattered was that we were both happy.
I knew no one would likely tell me what happened for her to get this kind of peace and understanding over her life and the world around her, but I didn’t care. Whatever it was, she needed it.
