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“Why are you here?” I snapped, when he was finally out of earshot again. “You need to go home, Meyah. This ain’t the place for you.”
“That why you asked everyone to keep it from me?” she threw back. She sat a little straighter, and her eyes narrowed. They were already red and bloodshot, and a little puffy. Kind of like she’d spent a lot of time crying.
“Yes, that’s why,” I responded, the words making her body jump like a shot to the chest. “Like I said, this ain’t the place for you.”
She placed her hands on the table, gripping the edge like if she let go, she might fall off the Earth. She was struggling, she was fighting with her emotions, and all the shit swirling around in her head. I knew it was hard for her—she was angry, she was hurt, she was confused—because she missed me. She hated I was here, and she didn’t know why. She thought I’d betrayed her, and on top of that she couldn’t understand how I would do that if I loved her like I did.
And the answer was that I wouldn’t.
I’d never fucking cheat on her.
Meyah was fucking it for me.
But right now wasn’t the time to let her know that. Not when I knew these fuckers who ran this place were looking for any excuse to get under my skin. Word was out I was looking at walking in court this week, but they still believed I’d done it, and they were going to make my last few days here absolute fucking hell.
They were going to try and push me over the edge. Any excuse to force me to make a mistake. Anything that might change the court case and land me in a pile of shit.
Including using Meyah.
Or even hurting her.
“How dare you,” she whispered in a dark tone which surprised me. “They are my family, too, you know, and now I’m the idiot because… stupid Meyah, right? Bet everyone knew you were sleeping with the club girls behind my back, too, didn’t they? What else did you ask them to lie about?”
I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge to yell and scream about how I never touched a damn club girl. Not since I figured out it wasn’t going to make these feelings I had for Meyah go away.
I refused to fucking lie to her.
Knowing I would have to explain all this shit later, it wasn’t going to be any easier if I’d already told her I’d fucked Jess and then turned around and tried to deny it.
God, when did I dig myself such a massive fucking hole?
Her nose crinkled, and I could tell she was fighting the tears.
“I loved that place. I loved it there.” Her voice cracked, and it was near enough to break me. “I finally felt like I knew my place in the world. I felt empowered, supported… loved. And you’ve now made it feel dirty. How dare you fucking destroy that for me? How dare you take that away because you wanted to get your dick wet?”
Straight for the jugular.
This beautiful, amazing fucking woman.
She wasn’t a little girl anymore.
She was holding her own, and I knew for a fact if we’d been anywhere else but a fucking jail visiting room right now, she’d have likely kneed me in the balls and smiled.
And I wouldn’t have blamed her.
Right now, I kind of wanted to kick myself in the balls.
I was hurting her.
With every moment I held the truth in, every second that I kept my mouth shut, I was driving her away. And right now, it was getting harder and harder to convince myself it was the right thing to do.
How do you look the person you love in the eye and pretend not to care?
It was almost impossible.
“I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. I just wanted to see you. I’d spent the last two months thinking you’d let me walk, and that you were living your life at the club.” She hung her head, shaking it back and forth. “I convinced myself maybe if I came, there’d be some kind of explanation. I bullshitted myself into thinking this was all some stupid misunderstanding.”
It was.
