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“Don’t!” Raising her hand, she pushed her hair back from her face, gripping a handful of it in her hand. She looked like she was in pain, like she was going to tear her hair out of her head.
I saw the moment the confusion was replaced with anger, and she came at me, her eyes flashing and her hands shoving my chest. I stumbled back, and she rushed forward again. “You let me go through hell. I spent the last few months wondering what the hell was wrong with me, Ham. I spent months wondering why the fuck I wasn’t good enough for you.” She was screaming now, something I knew she’d been waiting to do, but that I don’t think she ever imagined would turn out like this. Just when I thought this would be the moment she’d leap into my arms, said thank God that’s over, and we moved on, instead, all I saw was hurt. More fucking hurt, and it stripped another layer off my soul.
“Why? Why would you do that to me?”
“To protect you,” I fired back. My hand shot out, wrapping around the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair. She tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. We were going to hash this shit out, and we were going to do it as soon as possible because I needed her. “You saw me, didn’t you? You think I really wanted you to see me broken and bruised? Barely able to fucking move because one of those assholes had taken to my ribs with a steel-capped boot. You think I wanted you to see me like that? You think I wanted those assholes coming after you when they needed to find new ways to break me down?”
The fire remained in her eyes as she stared me down, huffing in and out of her nose as she fought to control the tears. “That was my choice, wasn’t it? Since when do you get to make those kinds of decisions for me?”
I tugged her closer, pressing my forehead against hers. “Since you agreed to be mine.”
She moved in a flash, pulling back, her palm connecting with my cheek and causing it to sting. It blurred my vision for a moment before I was finally able to take a deep breath and focus on her face. Tears streamed down over her cheeks, dripping off her chin and onto the black T-shirt she had on.
“I told you one day that I was all in. That I wouldn’t pick and choose when I wanted you, and when I didn’t. That I would just take you whatever way I could fucking have you because it didn’t matter. As long as we were together.”
The pain in her eyes tore at my chest like a sharp knife just cutting away slowly with each teardrop that slipped down her face.
“You destroyed me. You made me feel worthless. You made the people I love lie to me and exclude me. Why? Because you thought I’d think less of you for not fighting back? Because you thought I would be scared of all-talk-and-no-balls Kent?” She lifted her hands and wiped at her cheeks, leaving them red and rosy. “Do you even know me at all?”
A deep growl resonated in my throat. “You think you were the only one hurt here, Meyah? You broke your fucking promise.”
Her brow pulled together instantly telling me she had no idea what I was talking about. I took a step forward, my face red, my body aching, but ready to let her know what I’d kept in all this time.
“You told me if you were ever second-guessing things, or felt like you couldn’t do it, that you would come to me. That we would work something out. Like you said,together. Instead, you ran. You couldn’t wait to get the fuck away from the club and me.”
“I was upset.”
I forced her to step back pressing her against the wall. “And I wasn’t? Do you know what it felt like to have the woman I love see a flash of something and instantly think the worst of me? For you to so easily believe I could do something so fucking hurtful.”
“Why didn’t you come after me? You should have told me!”
I slammed the palm on the wall beside her head. “I shouldn’t fucking have to!”
So there it was.
We’d laid all our shit on the table.
I knew I’d hurt her.
But now she knew what her actions had done to me.
If there was any way that we could fix what had happened between us, it would be now.
I ran my fingers through my hair. She watched me, her lip trembling. “You know me, Meyah. Stop pretending like you don’t know the kind of man I am. Stop convincing yourself I don’t love you when I have proved time after fucking time I would lay down my shit for you in a second,” I whispered, reaching out to her again and hoping she wouldn’t push me away.
I hooked my hand around her neck and pulled her in, slowly and gently. Our lips found each other and crashed together sending sparks and fireworks into the air around us. It was the only thing I could think of doing because the truth was, at the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought I was protecting her. But I was starting to realize perhaps everyone else had been right. I’d pushed her away, maybe even too far this time.
I screwed it up.
I wanted Meyah back because she was the final piece of my puzzle.
I had the club, I had my brother and sister. All that was left was the perfect Old Lady to stand beside me, to have my back, and be the good in a world where there were times it seemed there was none.
That was Meyah.
There was no doubt, no question in my mind.
It had always been Meyah, but she was right. I’d never given her the chance to prove that.
