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She’s been especially timid this evening. During dinner she would barely look at me, and she’s hardly said a word since this morning. I went back into the forest hoping the tension would have eased by the time I returned, but I’d been wrong. It only intensified. It doesn’t make much sense to me. I thought I made it clear I’m entertaining her idea of leaving. She should have more hope than ever right now, but maybe that’s what it is. Maybe she’s afraid of ruining it.
I should’ve never said anything to her today. If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t be like this. But I’m tired of her asking me questions about what happens next. She should’ve already known, but she genuinely didn’t seem to.
“Yes,” I say, walking up to the couch and sitting next to her. “I have good news, actually.”
She shifts and waits for me to go on.
“I spoke to my brother, and he agrees that sending you overseas is an option. We have a contact there that could help get you set up. He would have eyes on you for a while, and then would check in from time to time. If you ever left, I would be notified, of course.”
I keep my voice steady and maintain eye contact with her. If she was CIA she wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m lying. In truth, I have no idea what I’m going to do. But I can’t kill her. My mind was made up about it by the time we reached the cabin, but it wasn’t until today that I knew it. Not a lot of things haunt me, but I have no doubt that she would.
I don’t want her tiptoeing around the cabin in fear, though. I’ve had enough of it, and my guess is she has too. If a little lie will reassure her of her safety, then I’ll give that to her.
“Are you serious?” she asks, sitting up straight with her lips parted. She turns toward the fireplace and covers a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.”
I wait to speak, giving her time to process it. Guilt sits heavily on my shoulders when her lips lift into a relieved smile, and it’s like all the weight she carried gets thrown on top of me.
“Thank you,” she says, turning to me. She shifts onto her knees and flings her arms around me, burying her face in my neck. Her tears wet my skin. “Thank you so much, Lorenzo.”
I reluctantly return her hug and run my fingers through her hair and down her back. This feels wrong. She shouldn’t be thanking me when I’m the one who did this to her. I’m not her fucking savior, and I wish she’d stop acting like I was.
That’s not really true, though, is it?I do like it. Too much.
Amelia pulls back, and I school my expression, hiding the guilt eating away at me.
“When do I leave?” she asks, wiping her eyes. She says it like she can’t wait to get away from me, and it’s like a knife stabbing me in the gut.
“I’m not sure. I’ll know more in a few days.”
She nods and a chuckle bursts from her mouth. She falls back against the couch and splays the back of her hand over her forehead. She looks so at peace, I can’t help but join her, leaning my head back and staring up at the ceiling.
A few days and then life will be back to normal. I don’t know if I’m dreading it or looking forward to it.
I close my eyes and try not to think about it.
“Hey, Lorenzo?”
“Hm?”
“I want to go with you again tomorrow… okay?”
My gut reaction is to tell her no, but I’m struck with the sense that I don’t want to. Even in my forest, I want to take advantage of the time I have left with her.
“Okay, Kitty.”
