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ABI
“Mommy look!” I follow Zeke’s finger to the hammerhead shark swimming above our heads. We’re at Zeke’s favorite spot in the aquarium, the shark tunnel. The grey predators swim at both sides and above us, and an elderly couple stands nearby taking a photo. As always, we’re the only locals here. My kid loves the aquarium.
“Wow!” I widen my eyes and stare in amazement. “But wait,” I point at a kitefin. “Check this one out.” Zeke presses his hand to the glass, and his blue eyes fill with amazement. I don’t have the heart to tell him not to touch the glass, I just stare at him. Proud. Happy. And exactly where I want to be.
Las Vegas is beginning to feel like home.
We stand at the sharks for thirty more minutes before Zeke is ready to move on. By the time we walk from the aquarium, his little hand in mine, my feet are killing me and I’m regretting wearing pumps. Normally, we wouldn’t spend that long at each exhibit, but an eighth birthday is a special one.
Zeke runs in front of me in the parking garage when he spots my little red Honda, his steps echoing in the vast space. He excitedly pulls on the handle before I can get the door unlocked.
“What’s next?” he asks, jumping up and down.
I smile and ruffle his hair before opening the door for him. “Mmm I don’t know, Bud. It’s your day, so we get to do whatever you want.”
Zeke ponders for a moment, and as shitty as I feel about it, I pray it doesn’t cost much money. Since I lost my job, we’ve burned through most of the money I had saved and our landlord is getting impatient with back rent. I can’t avoid him forever.
“How about the park?” I ask, biting my lip.
“Ehh.” Zeke thinks a few moments longer, and then his eyes light up. A smile spreads across his face. “Swimming! Let’s go swimming, Mama!”
“Swimming?” My heart leaps into my chest guessing what he’s thinking about. “What a great idea! Maybe we can see if there’s an indoor pool somewhere. Buckle up sweetie, I’ll look up some places in a sec.”
I shut the car door and take my time walking to the driver’s side. My breathing gets labored and beads of sweat form on my forehead.
I haven’t seen Colter in over a week. Not since the night at the bar. He texted me the next day to ‘check on me’ and I haven’t heard from him since. As embarrassed as I am about the whole ordeal, I’m equally disappointed. I hate to admit it, and I mean really hate, but I like Colter. The real him, the broken him, not the politician with the fake smile, and not the asshole, but the guy I talked to last week. He opened up to me. He made me laugh. He showed me he’s just as vulnerable as I am instead of the threat I pegged him as. It’s pathetic, and I hate myself for it, but it made me feel special.I’mthe one he chose to share himself with. It made me feel like more of a person and less of a toy.
Devin made me feel that way at first too. Back before he hit me for the first time. Back before he had me trapped. I remember thinking he was the most charming man I’d ever met when he flirted with me in Ralph’s diner and wondered why he would pick me.Me. A college dropout. A waitress. A nobody. I had myself convinced it was because my background didn’t matter to him. He thought I was beautiful and strong. He admired my tenacity, my heart, my wit.
What an idiot I’d been.
He picked me because I was young and vulnerable and easy on the eyes.
He kept me because he saw he could trap me, and it worked.
I had no family to turn to and no future.AllI wanted was a family, and Devin was the key to that. He could give me a child, a home, a life. Who cared if he yelled sometimes? Who cared if he wanted me to look a certain way, talk a certain way, act a certain way? Who cared if he didn’t want me to work and he didn’t like my friends? It was all worth it. Until it wasn’t.
But Colter isn’t him.
He can’t be. He’s too broken to even get close enough to someone towantto trap them. He’s less like Devin and more like me.
And I like him. As a friend… or a fake fiancé, I guess. Not that it matters anymore. Not now that I’ve thoroughly humiliated myself in front of him. He must think I’m revolting.
Please, Zeke, don’t say you want to go to Colter’s.
With a deep breath, I open my door and plaster on a smile as I climb into the car. “Oookay. Let’s see if we can find an indoor pool.”
“I want to swim with Ethan!”
Ethan? My memory jogs and Colter’s security guard pops into my head. Shit.
“Is that a friend from school?” I ask, praying I’m wrong about Colter’s guy. Zeke talked about him for several days after he swam at Colter’s. Apparently, Ethan taught Zeke how to hold his breath under water. Charming.
As much as I’m weary of Zeke having any ties to Colter, I was glad Ethan had been nice to him and that he’d had a good time. Glad until now.
“No, Mr. Gruco’s friend. Remember? I want to show him how long I can hold my breath.”
“Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t we ask Charlie if he wants to go with us to a place. Maybe we can even find someplace with a slide!”
