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“What do you want to be when you grow up, Saine?” he asks.
“A filmmaker, obviously. I want to go to Temple and make documentaries.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Look at you with your prepared answer. Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to make documentaries?” He finishes his bar and crumples the wrapper.
“I just... do?” The summer between seventh and eighth grade, when I was no longer friends with Holden, and Corrine was at some culty entrepreneur camp, my grandma insisted I watch lessJersey Shoreon Hulu and more... anything else that was somewhat educational. We watched three documentaries that same day and then I kind of spiraled. It was powerful to know one film could shape my entire way of viewing a topic. There’s always an angle with a documentary. It’s trying to lead you to a very particular conclusion. There’s a black-and-whiteness about it that you can’t argue with. “Why do you want to be a photographer?”
He flips the camera on himself. “I want to be a photographer because I like capturing people at their most vulnerable and their most confident. I like being the one to show them how beautiful they are both ways. It makes me feel powerful.” He turns the camera back to me. “Your turn.”
“I don’t want to play this game.” I hold my hand out, but don’t try to take the camera from him this time. He’sgoing to hand it over, or else. “I ask the questions around here.”
“I think you want to make movies because you like being in charge. You like the power, too. And I think—”
Heat tumbles in my gut. “I said I don’t want to play.”
“Ooh, play what?” Kayla comes out of nowhere and plops down on my lap, nuzzling into my hair. “I love you, Saine.”
“I love you, too, Kayla,” I say evenly. It’s not her fault Holden has me on edge.
“Hey, Kayla,” Holden says, angling the camera at her.
She straightens, smiling. She’s not even buzzed anymore; her general positive vibe is just back in full force after some time with Juniper. “Hi, Holden. What’s the game?”
“What do you want to do after you graduate?” he asks. “It’s for the digital yearbook.”
“I have to go to college, but once that’s done, I want to tour the world and make music and change lives.” She cups my cheeks. “Saine, will you document my band’s success and tour with me so I never have to be without you and your cute little face?”
“Of course,” I answer in a muffled voice, the pressure from her hands making it hard to move my jaw.
“There you guys are,” Corrine says, dragging Juniper by the arm into the nook. She stops when she sees Holden. He points the camera at her regardless. “Hi. Sorry. Are we interrupting?”
“What do you guys want to do after school?” Kayla asks.
“I want to backpack across Europe!” Juniper says, sliding into the only other free chair at our table. “Mostly because I have no clue. It’s ridiculous to think I should.”
“Hey, I’m also going to travel the world,” Kayla says, leaning so close to her that she nearly slides off my lap. My velvet dress—because, yes, it did fit—doesn’t make it easier for her to sit still, so I put my hands on her hips to steady her. “You should come with me.”
“What about you, Corrine?” Holden’s fingers slide on the zoom button. “What are your plans?”
She glances at me, then him, and back to me. “I don’t feel very good, Saine. Can you help me in the bathroom—”
She tosses her fries right there, her vomit nearly hitting my shoes.
“You were so close to the bathroom, Corrine. So close.” I don’t dare to stare mournfully at the door behind us.
“Screw you,” she says weakly, wiping her mouth and smearing her lipstick.
I move Kayla from my lap and grab Corrine’s elbow to lead her to the bathroom. “Not with that barf breath.”
“Please don’t let Logan see,” she says. “He didn’t see, did he?”
Holden stands, handing the camera to Juniper. “I’ll go make sure he stays away until you’re cleaned up.”
“Thank you,” she mews defeatedly.
By the time I’m done cleaning her up, which means washing her face and basically teaching her how to gargle and spit again like some kind of baby—if this isn’t a PSA not to drink, or have kids, I don’t know what would be—Kayla and Juniper had pretended to host a whole talk show calledWhen Sheetz Hits the Fan, for my camera. Holden was nowhere to be found, but true to his word, Logan stayed away. He greets Corrine with a back rub and a water, and offers her a ride home. Despite not wanting their first date to be at a dance, it kind of still ends up like one.
