AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Twenty-Two
And the award for prize plonker goes to…me!
I had spent the last half an hour lying on my bed, repeating,I am such a fucking idiot, over and over again.
As well as being a fool, it appeared I was a clairvoyant too because the outcome I’d predicted days ago had come true. His lame message read:
Lorenzo
Sorry, Sophia, I apologize so much but I cannot. I have to work.
What a wanker.
Well, you couldn’t say I hadn’t tried. I’d triedsohard. Too hard, in fact. I would never normally have done that. Chased a guy. Offered myself on a silver platter. Never. But I’d thought:Be more adventurous. Throw caution to the wind.So I had. And whilst it had paid off in the short term on my last night at the villa, because I’d justhappenedto be in the same room as him and it had required minimal extra effort on his part, it hadn’t in the long term.
My head was spinning. Iknewthis would happen! Deep down in the bottom of my soul (in fact, not even that deep, practically surface level) I had seen the unreliability, the lukewarmness, the unresponsiveness. But I’d ignored it and thought I knew better. That I’d win, just like I always did at work. That he believed I was different. Special.
He had probably taken two seconds to write that shitty message and then carried on with his work or screwing some bimbo without giving me another thought. My first reaction was to write to him and try and make a suggestion or find a way around it. But the fact that he didn’t volunteer a solution showed he clearly wasn’t bothered. I even considered deleting him from my contacts altogether, or blocking him. But I’d just leave it. I wouldn’t even reply.
What could I even say?Oh, don’t worry about pissing all over my emotions, or the grand I’ve spent booking flights, accommodation and buying sexy underwear. It’s no biggie.
At the end of the day, this had been my choice and I had known the risks, but had been living in such a dream world that I had gone ahead with it anyway. Stupid.
Maybe I should stay here and focus on the MIKA Cosmetics launch… No! I was supposed to be getting more balance in my life, not working on bank holidays again. It’d be better for me and my well-being to explore Florence for three days than simply do the same old thing I always did in London.
So, much like I had done a month ago, I just had to get on the plane and be prepared for the unknown. It might not be as exciting as my last trip, but what could I do? Somehow, I would just have to find a way to get through it.
I launched WhatsApp. I needed moral support and knew Roxy and Bella would make me feel better.
Me
Evening, ladies. How’s it going?
As I’d feared, the dirty weekend plans have fallen through. Sent a pre-check message today and got a reply saying ‘so sorry but I can’t now as I have to work’. Should have put money on that happening. Old me would have never gone ahead with something like this when my gut sensed flakiness/unreliability, but I was trying to be more spontaneous and step out of my comfort zone. Trying to be pragmatic about it, but it’s hard because I was really looking forward to it
Roxy replied straight away:
Roxy
Aww, darling, can’t believe it, what a fucking arsehole. What you going to do? You still going?
Me
I bloody can! So annoyed with myself as it was what I thought would happen all along.
Yep, have to—everything is already booked. Don’t fancy just sitting around here all weekend, so may as well go and make the most of it.Grrrrrr. Suppose I have to start getting used to this sort of thing with this new being single malarkey. x
Roxy
Yup, it sure is part of the joys of being single!
Well, you go, girl. Love that you’re going. Try to fill your day up with walking tours and stuff so you get to see the place and you’re around people too. You’re so bloody strong and already seem to have everything sorted in your mind and are thinking positively, so I know you’ll be fine.
Me
Thanks, Rox. Well, needs must and all that. I’d feel silly and wasteful just to say I’m not going.
I do feel like shit. Don’t even think I’ll reply to the message. Was even thinking of deleting and blocking him altogether.
