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I’d always enjoyed a man kissing me there…mmmm.
But as he finished and edged himself up my body with his manhood getting ever closer to my mouth, then took his hand and steered my head towards it, I froze.
There was no doubt. He wanted me to reciprocate. But, how can I put this politely? The aromas that were coming from his nether regions were not the sweet scent of my favourite Jo Malone Lime Basil & Mandarin candle. Far from it. This was more burger and fried onions. A kind of stalethis penis has not been washed todaysweaty type smell…
Should I say something? Maybe decline and say I don’t dothat? But he’d already been down on me, so he’d think I’m a prude and I’d look like a pillow princess if I didn’t return the favour.But how? It stinks!
I could ask him to take a shower. But then that’d ruin the moment and I really, really wanted to have sex today. Ineededto have sex today. Help.
Suck it up, Soph—literally, screamed Resanna in my head.Just close your eyes, imagine it’s Lorenzo, do it quickly, get it over with and then you can get what you want. I’m sure you’ve tasted worse things…
My head was now millimetres away from his manhood. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut and opened my mouth reluctantly…
I think I managed about thirty seconds before recoiling, pushing his body downwards and reaching for a condom. I felt like I’d just done a bushtucker trial onI’m a Celebrity…
I cannot believe I just did that. Right now I just wanted to rush to the bathroom and wash my mouth out, but instead I said in my best seductive voice, ‘Vincenzo. I want you inside of me’. I gently tore the edge of the condom packet, took it out then rolled it onto him.
He got into position. It was finally happening. He was inside me. There was a little discomfort at first, as obviously it had been a while since I’d experienced full penetration, but I didn’t care. I wassoready.
We rocked forwards and backwards and the memories started to flood back to me. Itwasjust like riding a bike. This felt good. Yes!
I picked up the pace, rocking more enthusiastically. I’d waited so long for this and now it was happening, I wanted to give it everything I had.
I began to gyrate beneath him, grabbed hold of his bum smacked it and then…
‘Oh, Sophia!’ groaned Vincenzo.
Noooooo…
WTF?
In less time than it took to sayUsain Bolt, it was all over!
He collapsed on top of me.
That was it? You’ve got to be kidding me!
‘Erm, Vincenzo?’ I said, struggling to find the words (well, polite ones anyway). ‘Did you come?’
‘Yes,’ he said, gasping for breath (not sure why when neither of us had had a chance to work up a sweat). ‘I’m sorry,’ he replied sheepishly. ‘I was just too excited.’
Oh my goodness. After boasting about all the phenomenal things he was going to do to me, that was it? Five pumps and he’s done?
Calm down, said Reasanna.Shit happens, right? It’d been a couple of months for him, so like he said, he was probably overexcited. Be understanding. Give him time and round two will be much better.
Except it wasn’t.
We tried for what felt like hours afterwards and he just couldn’t get it up. I even attempted oral again (after asking if I could give it a little rinse first, which made him blush with embarrassment. Sorry, but Icouldn’tendure that again). At first it seemed to help. But no sooner had he entered me than it was over. I think I counted ten seconds, but that may have been generous.
After realising that I was flogging a dead horse, I said I needed to get back and left.
I slumped into the seat of the black cab, closed my eyes and let out an almighty sigh. That definitely hadnotgone as I’d expected. All that build-up. All that excitement, and that was it? My first time back in the sack in pretty much a year amounted to a few seconds of mediocrity? Why, God, why?
I’d thought today, I’d feel like a fulfilled woman. That I’d be skipping through the hotel doors and humming a happy tune, whilst my skin radiated with a warmyou’ll never guess what I’ve been up topost-sex glow. That I had found another Italian to satisfy my sexual needs. I hoped I’d be so high on lust that Lorenzo would well and truly be a distant memory. But rather than making me forget about him, Vincenzo had just made my thoughts of Lorenzo and our night together resurface.
As the taxi headed over Vauxhall Bridge, I felt more frustrated than when I’d arrived. Seemed like losing yourMARGINITYcould be just as much of a let-down as losing yourvirginity. In fact, it was worse. At least when I was seventeen and had decided to finally ‘do the deed’ with my then-boyfriend Jeremy in his single bed one rainy afternoon whilst his parents were at work, I’d expected it to be awkward. It was the first time for both of us, so it wasn’t realistic to hope for fireworks. But what now?
What if the earth didn’t move with the next person I sleep with? What if I was disappointed again? Was this why our generation had become MARGINs in the first place, because the act of having sex never actually measured up to the anticipation?
Surely I wouldn’t have to settle for having bad sex at the grand age of thirty-nine? Would I?
If today’s underwhelming experience was anything to go by, the future was not looking bright.
Shit.
