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If he’s all about saving face when he’s around me, not wanting anyone to know we’re… whatever we are… then I don’t want to lose my temper here in the elevator. I know several of the other people who live in the building. I want to save face as well.
My reasons are warranted, though.
Wade heeds my warning with a sigh and doesn’t say another word. A ding from above is the only sound, and then the doors slide open.
I hustle out into the hall, knowing he’ll follow. This wishy-washy behavior ends tonight.
I’m done.
Do I really want to be done?My inner romantic says.
No.
But logic continues to reign supreme.I don’t deserve to be hidden away like a bad fungus.
“Bernadette, I’m an asshole, I know.” He’s a few steps behind me.
I turn on my heel, nearly knocking myself off balance.
“What the hell, Wade?” I seethe. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”
His face searches mine, regret lacing every angle of his expression. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bernadette.”
My heart pulls. “Don’t call me that,” I snap.
His brows crease. I’ve never told him what it does to me that he calls me Bernadette. He pushes his hand into his hair, mussing it up as he continues.
“I freaked out. I wasn’t expecting to see them. It caught me off guard, and I didn’t think.”
“You freaked out? You freaked out? Are you that freaking embarrassed by me that you can’t stand for anyone to know that you enjoy fucking me?” My voice booms through the empty hall.
“Jesus Christ,” he hisses. He has the decency to not look around the hall to make sure we’re alone. “I am not embarrassed by you. I’ve told you this before.”
I cross my arms. “Way back after we met, you said I was just a gamer girl, that I wasn’t mature enough. Too young. Is that what the problem is? I’m too immature?”
“No. Look, that was a brush off back then, and I’m sorry that has stuck with you all these years. I’m not embarrassed by you at all. Fuck. I mean, I took you to that gala last month.” He has the audacity to sound annoyed.
I roll my eyes. “Sure, but no one we knew was there. Strangers. You don’t want our friends to know.”
“My friends do know about you. Remember Luke? Billie? They know I’ve been seeing you.” His addition hits me square in the chest.
My mouth gapes, then closes as I struggle to find the words. “So you… you don’t want my friends to know? You don’t want your family to know?”
His glances at the floor, his hands fisting and flexing at his sides. “I’m not ready.”
“Well, fuck that, Wade. If you’re not ready, I’m done. Those friends of mine are my family, and I don’t want to hide anymore. If you can’t be okay with them knowing, then lose my number.”
My voice comes out way more confidently than I expect it to. It’s as if I’m about to rip in two, but I need to hold it together until I get into the privacy of my own home. I turn to my door, grab hold of the knob, and twist it open. Looking down I see my key in my other hand. I must have already unlocked it.
“Bernadette,” he pleads, moving toward me.
Glancing at him over my shoulder. “Go home, Wade.”
Hearing his muttered curse, but I don’t look back again as I walk through my door into my darkened apartment.
Wandering to the kitchen on the left and flip on the overhead light. Fighting back tears, I brace my forearms on the countertop. Closing my eyes and take several deep breaths.
Just as I steady myself, I get a bone-deep chill. I straighten and turn my head slightly.Did I just hear something?
